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Darcy Luoma Quotes

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Famous Darcy Luoma Quotes

“The months following my husband John’s arrest were like a Thoughtfully Fit boot camp. I had to make many hard choices and deal with crazy thoughts and emotions (mine and others!), so I worked to Pause and Think many times a day before Acting. I won’t lie—it was exhausting. It probably would’ve been easier not to worry so much about doing things right and instead mindlessly blast my way through the mess. But that would’ve come back to haunt me later. Thoughtfully Fit gave me the tools to come out the other side without extra emotional injuries to myself or others. While I couldn’t control what happened, being Thoughtfully Fit was how I recognized that I did control what happened next. That was a source of power: to explore the choices instead of being a victim. It also helped me access compassion and forgiveness.”

“When you’re aware of your thoughts, you’re able to consciously choose how you behave. When you aren’t aware, you go on autopilot and are likely to act without thinking. But if you can pay attention to what’s going on in your mind—and how it’s affecting the stories you’re telling yourself in any given moment—you can choose to adjust your behavior to get the best outcome. You can identify the choices available to you and focus on what you control, rather than be a victim of your thoughts and circumstances.”

“Are your thoughts getting in the way? Telling you all the reasons you can’t do something or making you feel like you don’t have a choice? Or urging you to tell others what jerks they are? Time for these thoughts to get out of the way. When you are Thoughtfully Fit, your thoughts can lead the way to better actions.”

“Sometimes we plow through our days without really Thinking at all. We just Act unconsciously. On autopilot. Spinning and spinning and hoping we get lucky. However, jumping straight to Action isn’t always most effective. Taking the time to ask questions and Think is where the magic happens, because this process creates new awareness. Thoughtful questions include, but aren’t limited to, the following: • What choices do I have? • What’s in my control? • What would a successful outcome look like? • What obstacles are getting in the way? • How can I address those obstacles?”

“If you think of life as a game of dodgeball, Agility is about learning to stay light on your feet and think about what you want to do with all those balls flying at you. In the short term, it can feel easier to duck and avoid them or be more satisfying to throw a ball back even harder, but sometimes the right choice is to call for a time out.”

“Letting go of judgment and accepting others just as they are is difficult. However, it’s one of the most powerful Thoughtfully Fit practices. Flexibility teaches us the value of acceptance—full and unconditional acceptance of others. Even, or maybe especially, when you don’t agree with their choices or behaviors. It’s much easier to accept others when we agree with them 100 percent.”

“The key is to do all three steps in order. And repeat as necessary. When you encounter a hurdle, Pause. Give yourself time to Think: What do I control? What are my choices? After you choose your response, Act . . . thoughtfully. Acting without Thinking isn’t good, but Thinking without Acting isn’t much better.”

“But on a deeper level, collapse was an option. Letting my business fall apart was a real possibility. Beyond the surface of managing bills and trying to stay on top of the daily grind, I made a choice, a conscious choice, that even though my world had turned upside down, the girls and I were going to survive this. Because, for me, letting my family fall apart was not on the table. I would not run, move, or give up, like many urged or predicted. I went back to my Thoughtfully Fit training plan. Guided by the sticky notes and years of success in making other people’s lives work, I became ground zero to test-drive my new model, to help me be Thoughtfully Fit through this crisis.”

“Clients bring their challenges to coaching when they don’t know what to do or when people problems are getting in the way of success. They have conflict with colleagues. They don’t know how to communicate effectively. They become a victim in their own life, paralyzed by seemingly bad choices. They don’t think they have any ability to fix it. They feel like things are out of their control. And that’s all understandable. But you can navigate these problems successfully. I’ve witnessed my clients do it in coaching, and I’ve done it in my own life.”

“When you learn to ride a bike, ice skate, or downhill ski, the first thing you’re taught is how to stop. It’s an essential skill because if things start heading the wrong direction, you can stop and limit the damage. This same skill is necessary with conversations that have the potential to go off the rails and create lasting damage. When someone blindsides you and says something that triggers you, find the brakes, so you can hit that Pause button. This can be tricky because, by nature, we often aren’t patient communicators. We expect responses right away and feel compelled to offer the same. I’m inviting you to challenge that and request a little time to gather your thoughts. It can happen faster than you think, so I advise my clients to make simple requests that allow them to Pause. Some examples include: • Let me catch my breath here. • Can we find a place to sit down to talk about this? • Give me a moment to close my door. • Let me go to the bathroom/let the dog out/fill my coffee, and then I will give you my undivided attention. The truth is, your brain needs time to overcome some of your initial reactions and access other choices.”

“Life presents challenges, unexpected obstacles, and adversity. People die. Jobs change. Bad things happen. To good people. All the time. And sadly, that won’t change. These things happen whether we want them to or not. We don’t control the fact that there will be problems at work and at home. Because we’re human, and conflict happens whenever we’re in relationships with others. While you don’t control what happens, you do control what happens next. Always. It might feel like your life is out of control and that you have no choices when something bad happens. The reality is that you have a lot of choices. When you can’t see those choices—and don’t focus on what you control—you feel helpless. However, there is another way forward. You can stop letting your worries and anxieties dictate your life. You have choice and control. You can use these challenges to get stronger. To deepen your relationships instead of destroy them. To overcome the hurdles and move forward in a positive way. If your thoughts are telling you otherwise, it’s time to train to be Thoughtfully Fit!”

“You might be thinking: Okay, great. I definitely have problems in my life and relationships, but how do I overcome them? Where do I even start? When you encounter challenges, adversity, or conflict, you must engage your core. I’m a lifelong athlete. Every sport I train for has one common need: a strong core. It helps prevent injuries. It gives you stability that makes you less likely to fall over, and it makes it easier to get back up when you do. Thoughtfully Fit also has a core that is central to everything you do in the model. It always comes back to control and choices: What do you control? What are your choices? For example, you can’t control what other people do, but you can control your thoughts and actions. You may not be able to control angry customers, the effects of a global pandemic, the results of a presidential election, or decisions coworkers make, but you do control how you respond. And you always have choices in how you respond.”

“But when you’re Thoughtfully Fit, people problems feel easier because you work from your core. Instead of being a victim or reacting unconsciously to the situation—likely making it worse—you recognize your choices and are in control of what you do next. Instead of wasting your time and energy being frustrated by what other people are doing, you can get back to doing what you do best.”

“It’s worth building awareness about your own behavior and identifying places you could make different choices. We tend to think things have to be the way they are because they’ve always been that way. But being Thoughtfully Fit opens up a world in which you get to choose how you show up and behave in any given situation.”

“If you can consciously choose your behavior—by focusing on your choices and what you control—you will be more thoughtful, and it will be easier to deal with whatever life throws at you. This book will teach you how.”

“Life is hard and unpredictable. Even though you don’t have complete control over what happens, you do have control over how you respond. No matter the situation, you always have choices for what you say and what you do. I explore this with my clients all the time, and it’s not uncommon for them to tell me: “I agree, in theory. But you don’t know what I’m dealing with. You don’t know what I’ve been through. Having control in my situation isn’t possible.” Maybe you’re thinking the same thing.”