“Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that when you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel and behave. In other words, if we can learn to think about other people in a more positive and realistic way, it will be far easier to resolve conflicts and develop rewarding personal and professional relationships.” PeopleIfsThinkingWayFeelsIdeasEasierConflictTherapyBehaveResolveRealisticCognitiveCognitive TherapyProfessional Relationships Author:David D. Burns
“If a hungry lion suddenly appeared, you'd be terrified. So terrified you'd probably run away. Great, fear's doing its job. But you might get so afraid that you lock up and can't move. This would be very bad. Guilt's the same. It can prevent you from fixing the situation, make you feel so bad you can't function at 100% and even lead to more guilt-provoking bad behavior.” IfsFeelsMightWould BeRunningJobsMovingSituationBehaviorFunctionGuiltHungryLionsRunning AwayLocksProvokingTerrifiedFixingBad BehaviorLock UpHungry Lion Author:David D. Burns
“What is the point of abusing yourself with guilt in the first place? If you did make a mistake and act in a hurtful way, your guilt won't reverse your blunder in some magical manner. It won't speed your learning processes so as to reduce the chance you'll make the same mistake in the future. Other people won't love and respect you more because you are feeling guilty and putting yourself down in this manner. Nor will your guilt lead to productive living. So what's the point?” PeopleIfsWayFirstsFeelingsProcessChanceMistakeGuiltSpeedGuiltyProductiveReverseLearning ProcessBlundersHurtfulLove And RespectSame MistakesFeeling Guilty Author:David D. Burns
“If you're self-compassionate, you'll tend to have higher self-esteem than if you're endlessly self-critical. And like high self-esteem - self-compassion is associated with significantly less anxiety and depression, as well as more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions.” IfsWellsSelfEmotionCompassionSelf EsteemHigherAnxietyOptimismCriticalEsteemCompassionateHigher SelfSelf CompassionHigh Self EsteemPositive Emotions Author:David D. Burns
“Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.” PeopleIfsMistakeAcceptingAcceptanceFailurePerfectionFaultsMaking MistakesImperfectionGreat MistakesI Make MistakesI Have Made MistakesPeople Make Mistakes Author:David D. Burns
“Perfection' is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe.... If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.” IfsMenSuccessUniverseIllusionPerfectionUltimateLoserPerfectionist Author:David D. Burns
“After all, this is how you learned how to walk. You didn't just jump up from your crib one day and waltz gracefully across the room. You stumbled and fell on your face and got up and tried again. At what age are you suddenly expected to know everything and never make any more mistakes? If you can love and respect yourself in failure, worlds of adventure and new experiences will open up before you, and your fears will vanish.” IfsKnowsWorldLoveAgeFacesWalksRoomsMistakeAdventureOne DayExpectedYour FaceLove And RespectNew ExperiencesRespect YourselfWaltz Author:David D. Burns
