“Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that when you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel and behave. In other words, if we can learn to think about other people in a more positive and realistic way, it will be far easier to resolve conflicts and develop rewarding personal and professional relationships.” PeopleIfsThinkingWayFeelsIdeasEasierConflictTherapyBehaveResolveRealisticCognitiveCognitive TherapyProfessional Relationships Author:David D. Burns
“People who are prone to guilt tend to work harder and perform better than people who are not guilt-prone, and are perceived to be more capable leaders.” PeopleLeaderHard WorkCapableHarderGuiltWork Harder Author:David D. Burns
“People who expect to feel guilty tend to be more sympathetic, to put themselves into other people's shoes, to think about the consequences of their behaviour before acting, and to treasure their morals. As a result they are less prone to lie, cheat or behave immorally when they conduct a business deal or spot an opportunity to make money, studies suggest. They are also likely to make better employees because people who think less about the future results of their actions are more likely to be late, to steal or to be rude to clients.” PeopleThinkingFeelsActionLyingOpportunityResultsDealsActingMoralStudyLateConsequenceShoesTreasureStealingGuiltySpotsMaking MoneyBehaveEmployeeClientsBehaviourCheatRudeSympatheticBusiness Deals Author:David D. Burns
“Surprisingly, it's forgiveness, not guilt, that increases accountability. Researchers have found that taking a self-compassionate point of view on a personal failure makes people more likely to take personal responsibility for the failure than when they take a self-critical point of view. They also are more willing to receive feedback and advice from others, and more likely to learn from the experience.” PeopleSelfFoundViewsResponsibilityAdviceWillingIncreaseGuiltCriticalPoint Of ViewAccountabilityCompassionateFeedbackPersonal ResponsibilityResearchersPersonal Failure Author:David D. Burns
“What is the point of abusing yourself with guilt in the first place? If you did make a mistake and act in a hurtful way, your guilt won't reverse your blunder in some magical manner. It won't speed your learning processes so as to reduce the chance you'll make the same mistake in the future. Other people won't love and respect you more because you are feeling guilty and putting yourself down in this manner. Nor will your guilt lead to productive living. So what's the point?” PeopleIfsWayFirstsFeelingsProcessChanceMistakeGuiltSpeedGuiltyProductiveReverseLearning ProcessBlundersHurtfulLove And RespectSame MistakesFeeling Guilty Author:David D. Burns
“Apologies do make a difference. Believe it or not, research shows people often prefer them over money.” PeopleBelieveShowsDifferencesResearchMaking A DifferenceApology Author:David D. Burns
“The biggest mistake you can make in trying to talk convincingly is to put your highest priority on expressing your ideas and feelings. What most people really want is to be listened to, respected, and understood. The moment people see that they are being understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of view.” PeopleWantTryingIdeasMomentsFeelingsViewsMistakeHighestUnderstoodPoint Of ViewPrioritiesMotivatedBiggest Mistake Author:David D. Burns
“Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.” PeopleIfsMistakeAcceptingAcceptanceFailurePerfectionFaultsMaking MistakesImperfectionGreat MistakesI Make MistakesI Have Made MistakesPeople Make Mistakes Author:David D. Burns
“When two people respect each other, the ability to be vulnerable and to reveal hurt feelings can create a powerful emotional connection that is the source of real intimacy and friendship.” PeopleTwoRealFeelingsHurtAbilityPowerfulEmotionalSourceConnectionsVulnerableIntimacyVulnerabilityHurt FeelingsEmotional ConnectionRespect Each Other Book:The Feeling Good Handbook Source: The Feeling Good Handbook
