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Famous E. W. Howe Quotes
“Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.”
“A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.”
“Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.”
“If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.”
“The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.”
“Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.”
“Farmers only worry during the growing season, but townspeople worry all the time.”
“Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.”
“The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.”
“The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win.”
“Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.”
“When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.”
“A theory is no more like a fact than a photograph is like a person.”
“Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.”
“Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.”
“Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.”
“The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them.”
“Virtue must be valuable, if men and women of all degrees pretend to have it.”
“When a man dies, and his kin are glad of it, they say, "He is better off."”
“A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.”
“To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.”
“Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public.”
“Youth is about the only thing worth having, and that is about the only thing youth has.”
“Nothing tires a man more than to be grateful all the time.”
“When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.”
“You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.”
“A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.”