“Like many men, I can never find anything that I'm looking for, even when I'm actually looking at it. In a fridge, I think milk is actually invisible to the male eye. And so, it turns out, are dirty great holes in the fence.” ThinkingMenI CanEyeTurnsMalesInvisibleHolesDirtyMilkFenceFridges Author:Jeremy Clarkson
“Unlike furious thin-lipped feminists, I tend not to draw distinctions between men and women, apart from in bed where you really do need to spot the difference.” MenNeedsDifferencesBedDrawsMen And WomenFeministSpotsDistinctionFurious Author:Jeremy Clarkson
“She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When I was in the middle of 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy - which was not selected for the Man Booker shortlist - you could have taken my liver out and fed it to the dog. And I wouldn't have noticed.” MenYearsImportantBookTakenMiddleDogRedStormRisingFedsTomsSelectedLiver Author:Jeremy Clarkson
“Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.” MenJobsBeautifulFireStageCarFrontsNormalAskingQueensWheelsMaking LoveWireBeautiful WomenPlugsSteeringJugglingPenguins Author:Jeremy Clarkson
“Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?” MenGovernmentFacesSufferingFearBitsBlackEducationOur LivesBombersCaucasian Author:Jeremy Clarkson
“You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.” MenWorldAmericaGirlAnimalCitiesMoralModernSurpriseBoatRealisingCentreModern WorldThighsZoosPubs Author:Jeremy Clarkson
“The fact is that Britain is the most warlike nation on earth. In the history of armed combat, we are the only democracy to have declared war on another democracy - England versus Finland in the second world war, in case you're interested - and we're always at the front of the queue when Johnny Foreigner gets a bit uppity. Who stood up to the Kaiser? Who stood up to Adolf? And let's not forget the Argies. What other country would have sent its fleet halfway round the world and lost 250 men to protect a flock of sheep and some oil that might or might not be there? We're still at it.” MenWorldStillsWarCountryFactsMightEarthAmericaLostNationsBitsForgetCasesDemocracyModernFrontsProtectEnglandRoundsOilWar Of The WorldsBritainCombatSheepWorld War IOther CountriesVersusModern WorldHalfwayForeignersFlocksSecond World WarStood UpQueuesFinland Author:Jeremy Clarkson
“I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.” MenFallWaterBearsFingersTerrorOilBoatIceCrampsRigs Author:Jeremy Clarkson
