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Jeremy Clarkson Quotes

Broadcaster

Jeremy Clarkson, born on April 11, 1960, is a renowned British broadcaster. Known for his unique sense of humor and forthright speech, he was one of the hosts of the popular TV show 'Top Gear'.

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Famous Jeremy Clarkson Quotes

“Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.”

Love Car Becoming Killing Speed Racing Stillness Speeding Broadcasters Stationary Motor Racing Car Racing Auto Racing Top Gear Funny Racing Speed Limits Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.”

Ifs Thinking Mean Morning Car Wake Up Insane Onions Bmw Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“No, no, no. There's no such thing as cheap and cheerful. It's cheap and nasty & expensive and cheerful.”

Car Expensive Nasty Cheerful

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.”

Has Beens Ends Hard Use Film Faces Hours Half Car Adults British Core Hotel Working It Racing Editing Half Hours Race Car Blokes Hard Core Top Gear Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.”

Fun Force Air Car Factories Air Force Fireworks Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Then there’s the biggest problem of them all – the problem of being in an Audi TT when you are not called Angela. I do not know why it can be driven by only people named Angela, but that’s a fact and there’s nothing we can do about it. If you have a TT and you aren’t called Angela, you have the wrong car.”

People Ifs Knows Facts Problem Can Do Car Driven Angela Audi

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!”

Enough Shows Car Features Kicks Tonight Complaints Affordable Ferrari Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t”

Said Reading Next Car Reader Eating Red Window Letters Mirrors Riding Leafs Bike Ferrari Hatchet

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.”

Found Car Built Customers Complaining Impression Factories Top Gear Olden Days

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.”

Men Jobs Beautiful Fire Stage Car Fronts Normal Asking Queens Wheels Making Love Wire Beautiful Women Plugs Steering Juggling Penguins

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“It’s what non-car people don’t get. They see all cars as just a ton and a half, two tons of wires, glass, metal, and rubber, and that’s all they see. People like you or I know we have an unshakable belief that cars are living entities… You can develop a relationship with a car and that’s what non-car people don’t get… When something has foibles and won’t handle properly, that gives it a particularly human quality because it makes mistakes, and that’s how you can build a relationship with a car that other people won’t get.”

People Knows Giving Humans Two Belief Mistake Half Quality Car Like You Glasses Handle Making Mistakes Metals Entity Wire Rubber Unshakable Human Qualities Foibles

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.”

Thinking Persons Special Car Mates

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.”

Knows Car Oil Liver Jogging

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.”

Humans Use Car Finished Seats Offensive

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

About the Author

Born: April 11, 1960
Known for: Broadcaster
Quotes: 123

Books & Sources

The world according to ClarksonRelated source material

MotorworldRelated source material

And Another ThingRelated source material

Driven to DistractionRelated source material

How Hard Can It Be?: The World According to ClarksonRelated source material

Is It Really Too Much To Ask?Related source material

Round the bendRelated source material

The Complete World According to ClarksonRelated source material

The Grand Tour Guide to the WorldRelated source material

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