Best Top Gear Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“Among all the machines, motorcar is my favorite machine.”

Source: Wealth of Words

“If he was paralyzed, we'd have to put in ramps and have things altered for wheelchair access; you can get kitchens refitted; bathrooms altered ... I'd get him a really fast wheelchair. It'd be OK. If he couldn't talk, I'd get him a great computer. Anything can be dealt with, everything can be overcome. Just be alive. Just, please God, I beg you, please, please keep him alive for me.”

Love Top Gear Stiff Upper Lip Paralyze Head Trauma

Book:On The Edge

Source: On The Edge

“It's hard to know where to stand when you are surrounded by stupidity.”

Top Gear

Author:Routledge Wood

“I think I wanted to be on Top Gear from a fairly young age because I loved cars and I wanted to do something on telly because I loved TV. I know that I?m ridiculously lucky”

Thinking Knows Age Wanted Young Car Tvs Lucky Luck Young Age Gears Top Gear

Author:Richard Hammond

“Some say he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called ‘Steve’. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

Knows Machines Plant Top Gear Stig

Author:Richard Hammond

“Throughout the Arab and Islamic world the feeling is that we are now in top gear for a war of civilizations, a clash of civilizations. Support for the United States is very low and there are no voices within the Muslim world, except for a very few.”

World War States Feelings Voice United United States Support Civilization Lows Islamic Clash Gears Muslim World Top Gear Clash Of Civilizations

Author:Husain Haqqani

“Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.”

Disease Sexually Syphilis Top Gear Cool Cars Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.”

Ifs Want Mean Ends Shows Lasts Night Order Waiting Pay Attention Concern Boring Complaining Pay Attention Complaints Last Night Gears Bland Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“No, it will never have enough power until I can spin the wheels at the end of the straightaway in high gear. Too much power is never enough.”

I Can Ends Enough Power Too Much Car Wheels Racing Spinning Gears Not Good Enough Top Gear Too Much Power Motorsports

Author:Mark Donohue

“Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze.”

People Party Dinner Viruses Dinner Party Ebola Top Gear Ebola Virus

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Getting an award on Top Gear is better than getting a Grammy.”

Awards Gears Grammy Top Gear

Author:Jay Kay

“Although the great frustration about this [role] is the fact that there's one thing Maigret never does, and that's drive. He's always driven, or he takes the train, or he gets the bus. I was saying 'Well, why don't we ring the changes for the 21st Century, and stick him in the car?'. [Executive Producer and son of the author, John Simenon] said, 'Well, you can if you want, but there'll be lots of people who won't like it'. So he's a non-driver ... But no, Top Gear was never a consideration for me; and neither was I asked”

People Ifs Want Wells Doe Said Facts Roles One Thing Century Car Son Train Sticks Driven Rings Producers Frustration Consideration Executives Drivers Bus 21st Century Gears Top Gear

Author:Rowan Atkinson

“When we went to Canada [with Top Gear], I was staggered about how many people got in touch ... Before we finish with The Grand Tour, we'll definitely be appearing in Canada at some point. Nothing is more certain than that.”

People Certain Canada Gears Appearing Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.”

Love Car Becoming Killing Speed Racing Stillness Speeding Broadcasters Stationary Motor Racing Car Racing Auto Racing Top Gear Funny Racing Speed Limits Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“I would love to be on 'Top Gear' as a star in a reasonably priced car.”

Stars Car Gears Top Gear

Author:Sandra Bullock

“[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.”

Ifs Thinking Mean Morning Car Wake Up Insane Onions Bmw Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.”

Has Beens Ends Hard Use Film Faces Hours Half Car Adults British Core Hotel Working It Racing Editing Half Hours Race Car Blokes Hard Core Top Gear Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Acting is a sport. On stage you must be ready to move like a tennis player on his toes. Your concentration must be keen, your reflexes sharp; your body and mind are in top gear, the chase is on. Acting is energy. In the theatre people pay to see energy.”

People Mind Body Moving Energy Sports Pay Acting Player Stage Ready Theatre Your Body Tennis Concentration Toes Mind And Body Gears Reflexes Tennis Player Top Gear Theatre Acting Stage Acting

Author:Clive Swift

“It is God who gives us the spirit of worship (Psalm 133:3), and it is what we know of God that produces this spirit of worship. We might say that worship is simply theology, doctrine, what we think about God, going into top gear! Instead of merely thinking about Him, we tell Him, in prayer and praise and song, how great and glorious we believe Him to be!”

Thinking Knows Giving Believe Might Spirit Song Prayer Produce Worship Praise Theology Doctrine Glorious Gears Psalms Top Gear

Author:Sinclair B. Ferguson

“This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.”

Fun Force Air Car Factories Air Force Fireworks Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?”

Comfortable Top Gear Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.””

People Disease Sexually Carrier Syphilis Top Gear Cool Cars Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”

People Poor Bus Poor People Lanes Top Gear Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!”

Enough Shows Car Features Kicks Tonight Complaints Affordable Ferrari Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom”

Sticks Bottom Pigs Top Gear Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.”

Bits Sleep Bed Sorry Driving I'm Sorry Couches Top Gear Cool Cars Aston Martin

Book:Driven to Distraction

Source: Driven to Distraction

“I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.”

Believe I Believe Animal Duty Agree Plates Supper Top Gear Supper Time

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.”

Way President Tonight Vipers Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.”

Versions Ferrari Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.”

Found Car Built Customers Complaining Impression Factories Top Gear Olden Days

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.”

World May Six Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.”

Mean Past Bears Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.”

Used Air Sitting Used To Be Conditioning Straws Air Conditioning Top Gear Dashboards Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.”

Kind Ridiculous Lions Fierce Orange Top Gear Dungarees

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.”

Looks Suffering Insomnia Toyota Top Gear Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.”

Ifs House Series Leaving Reverse Select Bmw Backsides Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

World Turns Democracy Let Me Lectures Top Gear Traction

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

Thinking Heard Mad Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”

Happens Faster Witchcraft Top Gear Cool Cars

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.”

Light Would Be Range Beaten Diesel Top Gear Wheelbarrows Range Rover

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

Knows Night Woods Blink Top Gear Foraging Stig

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

Knows Understanding Taste Ears Clouds Delight Turkish Top Gear Stig

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

Knows Has Beens Faces Found Size Tattoo Dropping Top Gear Stig

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley.”

Trying Driving Honey Cows Staircases Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite”

Should Sex Avoided Wagons Top Gear Transvestites

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“If there's one thing I can't stand, it's not being noticed.”

Ifs I Can One Thing Quarterback One Piece Holy Grail Top Gear

Author:Steve Sabol

“This is just the happiest car in the world! I shall call it Oliver! Not that we'd ever name a car on Top Gear. I wish I hadn't said that.”

World Said Names Wish Car Gears Top Gear

Author:Richard Hammond

“Mexican cars are just going to be lazy, feckless, flatulent, overweight, leaning against a fence asleep looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat.”

Middle Car Holes Lazy Coats Fence Mexican Blanket Overweight Cactus Top Gear Feckless

Author:Richard Hammond

“I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'”

Ifs Said I Can Amount Daughter Yeah Our Daughter Your Daughter Top Gear

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

“Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure. They are designed to melt ice caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands and turn the entire third world into a huge uninhabitable desert, all that before they nicked all the oil in the world.”

World Running Turns Water Poor Huge Thirds Tables Oil Ice Desert Islands Poison Layers Indigenous Caps Wildlife Third World Arthur Ozone Top Gear Ozone Layer Falklands

Author:Jeremy Clarkson

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