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Jim Gaffigan

Jim Gaffigan Quotes

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Famous Jim Gaffigan Quotes

“Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'”

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Author:Jim Gaffigan
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“People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn’t it?”

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Book:Dad Is Fat
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“No matter how you feel about your extended family or family gatherings you will be attending. This is because now the ultimate reason for attending family gatherings is for your children to have the time of their lives with their cousins. Little kids love their cousins. I’m not being cute or exaggerating here. Cousins are like celebrities for little kids. If little kids had a People magazine, cousins would be on the cover. Cousins are the barometers of how fun a family get-together will be. “Are the cousins going to be there? Fun!”

PeopleIfsFeelsChildrenLittlesMatterReasonWould BeKidsTogetherFunUltimateOur ChildrenMagazinesCuteYour ChildrenGatheringLittle KidCousinHow You FeelGet TogetherAttendingExtended FamilyKids LoveExaggeratingBarometerFamily GatheringFamily Get Together
Book:Dad Is Fat
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“Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.”

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Author:Jim Gaffigan
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