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Jo Coudert

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Famous Jo Coudert Quotes

“It is rewarding to find someone you like, but it is essential to like yourself. It is quickening to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being, but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable. It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect and admiration and love, but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things.”

PeopleBelieveHumansHuman BeingsViewsHealingSelf EsteemLike YouEssentialsAnd LoveDelightWorthyEsteemDecentBelieve In YourselfAdmirationAcceptableIndispensableDeservingLike YourselfQuickeningSomeone You Like
Book:Advice from a Failure
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“The person who conveys, 'I am nothing. Make me something,' may all his life have people trying to answer his hidden plea, but their answer will be in terms of, 'I am trying to make you something because you are nothing,' and, thus, the insult will be embedded in the response. It will be heard just as clearly as the attempt to help. And it will be hated.”

PeopleTryingMayPersonsHelpingTermAnswersHeardResponseHatedInsultEmbedded
Book:Advice from a Failure
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“It takes an enormous amount of energy, creative energy withdrawn from the total economy of the person, to hold a trait underground, and, unfortunately, needs and drives do not go underground alone; they carry with them useful parts of the personality, depriving it of richness and the possibility of a variety of response.”

NeedsPersonsEnergyEconomyCreativePossibilityPersonalityAmountResponseEnormousVarietyDenialTraitsRichnessCreative EnergyDepriving
Book:Advice from a Failure
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“The people trying to change others can conveniently be termed the angry, while the people trying to change themselves might be called the guilty, although it would be just as descriptive to speak of the controlling and the dependent, or the paranoid and the repressive, or, inelegantly, the screamers and the criers. In some circles, attaching labels to people rates only a little higher than chicken stealing, because ... a label immediately ends attempts to understand the individual.”

PeopleTryingLittlesEndsMightWould BeIndividualSpeakHigherAngryRateCirclesStealingGuiltyLabelsDependentChickensParanoidTrying To Change
Book:Advice from a Failure
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“It is characteristic to believe that those in need are given to, that the squeaky hinge is the one that gets the oil, but in the realm of emotions this is not so. It is the person who does not solicit liking and love, admiration and respect, sympathy and empathy to whom they are freely given.”

NeedsBelievePersonsDoeGivenEmotionEmpathyRespectAnd LoveOilRealmsCharacteristicsAdmirationHingesThose In NeedAdmiration And Respect
Book:Advice from a Failure
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“I saw one of the absolute truths of this world: each person is worrying about himself; no one is worrying about you. He or she is worrying about whether you like him, not whether he likes you. He is worrying about whether he looks prepossessing, not whether you are dressed correctly. He is worrying about whether he appears poised, not whether you are. He is worrying about whether you think well of him, not whether he thinks well of you. The way to be yourself ... is to forget yourself.”

ThinkingWorldWayWellsLooksPersonsForgetWorrySawsThis WorldAbsolutesLikesBeing YourselfForget YouAbsolute Truth
Author:Jo Coudert
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“What nonsense it is, this desire to be without limitations, this wish always to be seen in the most flattering light. We are anxious, not because we think so little of ourselves, but because we think so much of ourselves. We are anxious, not that we may appear in the worst light, but that we may not appear in the best light. Anxiety is born of self-consciousness, and it is alleviated to the exact extent that we can drop consciousness of the self.”

ThinkingMayLittlesSelfLightDesireWishBornConsciousnessWorstAnxietyLimitationNonsenseAnxiousFlatteringSelf Consciousness
Book:Advice from a Failure
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“Examining love is like examining a stocking: if you hold it up to the light and stretch it to search for snags, any snags there are may well run and ruin the stocking. In fact, if I may fashion Coudert's law from Heisenberg's principle of indeterminacy, it is this: Love is not only changed by observation; it is changed for the worse.”

IfsWellsMayFactsLightRunningLawLove IsPrinciplesFashionChangedObservationRuinsExaminingLove Is LikeStockings
Book:Advice from a Failure
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“A cruel joke has been played on us. We are fated always to remember what we learned but never to recall the experiences that taught us. Who can remember being born? Yet, it is possible to speculate that anxiety has its roots in this experience, that dread of abandonment, fears of separation, intolerable loneliness go back to this moment. Who can remember being cared for as an infant? ... Who can remember being toilet-trained? ... Who can remember the attachment which developed to the parent of the opposite sex? ... We cannot remember but what we have forgotten lives on dynamically.”

Has BeensMomentsRememberSexParentBornLonelinessTaughtAnxietyJokesRootsOppositesForgottenSeparationAttachmentDreadRecallsInfantToiletsAbandonmentTaught Us
Author:Jo Coudert
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