“When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.”
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Famous Josh Billings Quotes
“Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.”
Source: Uncle Sam&s uncle Josh
“There never yet was a mother who taught her child to be an infidel.”
“The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.”
Source: Uncle Sam's Uncle Josh: Or, Josh Billings on Practically Everything, Distilled from Josh's Rum and Tansy New England Wit by Donald Day
“The less we know the more we suspect”
Source: Josh Billings' Wit and Humor
“Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing.”
Source: Josh Billings' Wit and Humor
“Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.”
“I've never known an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary.”
“A WISE MAN never enjoys himself so much, or a FOOL so little, as when he is alone.”
“Fashion makes fools of some, sinners of others, and slaves of all.”
“People who have nothing to say are never at a loss in talking.”
“Most everyone seems willing to be a fool himself, but he can't bear to have anyone else one.”
“It's not ignorance does so much damage; it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.”
“Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.”
Source: Wit and Wisdom of Josh Billings [pseud.]: Choice Bits of Fun and Philosophy of the Great Humorist Carefully Collected and Revised
Source: Uncle Sam's Uncle Josh: Or, Josh Billings on Practically Everything, Distilled from Josh's Rum and Tansy New England Wit by Donald Day
“Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.”
“There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards?”
“A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.”
“The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.”
Source: Uncle Sam's Uncle Josh: Or, Josh Billings on Practically Everything, Distilled from Josh's Rum and Tansy New England Wit by Donald Day
“Politeness is better than logic. You can often persuade when you cannot convince.”
“The best creed we can have is charity toward the creeds of others.”
Source: Uncle Sam's Uncle Josh: Or, Josh Billings on Practically Everything, Distilled from Josh's Rum and Tansy New England Wit by Donald Day
“Building air castles is a harmless business as long as you don't attempt to live in them.”
Source: Wit and Wisdom of Josh Billings [pseud.]: Choice Bits of Fun and Philosophy of the Great Humorist Carefully Collected and Revised