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Judith Lewis Herman

Judith Lewis Herman Quotes

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Famous Judith Lewis Herman Quotes

“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator’s first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it upon herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on. The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.”

SilencePowerAbuseCriminalsChild AbuseSexual AbuseRapeSecrecyAttackingCredibilityAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsAbuse Of PowerAbusersPerpetratorsSociety DenialBacklashAllegationsSurvivors Of AbuseRepressed MemoriesRecovered MemoriesRapistsTrauma MemoriesSilencing DissentSurvivor Of AbuseAttacking PeopleFalse Memory Syndrome MythLack Of AccountabilitySilencing Children
Book:Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
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“By developing a contaminated, stigmatized identity, the child victim takes the evil of the abuser into herself and thereby preserves her primary attachments to her parents. Because the inner sense of badness preserves a relationship, it is not readily given up even after the abuse has stopped; rather, it becomes a stable part of the child's personality structure.”

IdentityPersonalityAbuseBetrayalAttachmentChild AbuseIncestVictimsComplex PtsdBetrayal TraumaParental AbusePersonality DisorderStigmatizationSelf Stigma
Book:Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
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“In some instances, even when crisis intervention has been intensive and appropriate, the mother and daughter are already so deeply estranged at the time of disclosure that the bond between them seems irreparable. In this situation, no useful purpose is served by trying to separate the mother and father and keep the daughter at home. The daughter has already been emotionally expelled from her family; removing her to protective custody is simply the concrete expression of the family reality. These are the cases which many agencies call their “tragedies.” This report of a child protective worker illustrates a case where removing the child from the home was the only reasonable course of action: Division of Family and Children’s Services received an anonymous telephone call on Sept. 14 from a man who stated that he overheard Tracy W., age 8, of [address] tell his daughter of a forced oral-genital assault, allegedly perpetrated against this child by her mother’s boyfriend, one Raymond S. Two workers visited the W. home on Sept. 17. According to their report, Mrs. W. was heavily under the influence of alcohol at the time of the visit. Mrs. W. stated immediately that she was aware why the two workers wanted to see her, because Mr. S. had “hurt her little girl.” In the course of the interview, Mrs. W. acknowledged and described how Mr. S. had forced Tracy to have relations with him. Workers then interviewed Tracy and she verified what mother had stated. According to Mrs. W., Mr. S. admitted the sexual assault, claiming that he was drunk and not accountable for his actions. Mother then stated to workers that she banished Mr. S. from her home. I had my first contact with mother and child at their home on Sept. 20 and I subsequently saw this family once a week. Mother was usually intoxicated and drinking beer when I saw her. I met Mr. S. on my second visit. Mr. S. denied having had any sexual relations with Tracy. Mother explained that she had obtained a license and planned to marry Mr. S. On my third visit, Mrs. W. was again intoxicated and drinking despite my previous request that she not drink during my visit. Mother explained that Mr. S. had taken off to another state and she never wanted to see him again. On this visit mother demanded that Tracy tell me the details of her sexual involvement with Mr. S. On my fourth visit, Mr. S. and Mrs. S. were present. Mother explained that they had been married the previous Saturday. On my fifth visit, Mr. S. was not present. During our discussion, mother commented that “Bay was not the first one who had Tracy.” After exploring this statement with mother and Tracy, it became clear that Tracy had been sexually exploited in the same manner at age six by another of Mrs. S.'s previous boyfriends. On my sixth visit, Mrs. S. stated that she could accept Tracy’s being placed with another family as long as it did not appear to Tracy that it was her mother’s decision to give her up. Mother also commented, “I wish the fuck I never had her.” It appears that Mrs. S. has had a number of other children all of whom have lived with other relatives or were in foster care for part of their lives. Tracy herself lived with a paternal aunt from birth to age five.”

TragedyBetrayalChild AbuseAlcoholismChild Sexual AbuseDisclosureFoster CareDysfunctional FamiliesChild RapeChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorAbusive MenChild ProtectionFamily SecretsBetrayal TraumaAbusive MotherChild NeglectFoster ChildAbusive ParentSocial WorkersChild RapistBad MotheringChild Sexual Abuse LiesBetrayal BondChild Protection Services
Book:Father-Daughter Incest
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“Father-daughter incest is not only the type of incest most frequently reported but also represents a paradigm of female sexual victimization. The relationship between father and daughter, adult male and female child, is one of the most unequal relationships imaginable. It is no accident that incest occurs most often precisely in the relationship where the female is most powerless. The actual sexual encounter may be brutal or tender, painful or pleasurable; but it is always, inevitably, destructive to the child. The father, in effect, forces the daughter to pay with her body for affection and care which should be freely given. p4”

FatherPowerAbuseTraumaBetrayalChild AbusePowerlessBetrayedSexual AbuseAbuse Of PowerIncestVictimizationPatriarchPatriarchalDysfunctional Relationship
Book:Father-Daughter Incest
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“..[The] disclosure of the incest secret initiates a profound crisis for the family usually...the abuse has been going on for a number of years and has become an integral part of family life. Disclosure disrupts whatever fragile equilibrium has been maintained, jeopardizes the functioning of all family members, increases the likelihood of violent and desperate behavior, and places everyone, but particularly the daughter, at risk for retaliation.”

CrisisChild AbuseSexual AbuseSecrecyChild Sexual AbuseIncestDysfunctional FamilyDysfunctional FamiliesChild RapeChild ProtectionFamily SecretsAt Risk YouthChild Protective Services
Book:Father-Daughter Incest
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“For many people, the shock of sexual abuse pales before the shock of this mother’s statement, “I wish the fuck I never had her.” So thoroughly is motherhood sentimentalized that the mother who wishes to be rid of her child is considered a monster. In reality, women have always greeted the burden of motherhood ambivalently, even in the best of circumstances, and many women bear children involuntarily. But the approbrium which attaches to any woman who willing gives up her child is so great that some mothers will keep and mistreat their children rather than admit that they cannot care for them. Sometimes, the revelation of maternal neglect constitutes a plea for outside intervention, signaling the fact that a mother wants to be relieved of the duty to care for her child.”

Child AbuseChild Sexual AbuseIncestChild RapeChild ProtectionAbusive MotherChild NeglectAbusive ParentAbusive WomenChild Protective ServicesMaternal Neglect
Book:Father-Daughter Incest
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“The mental health system is filled with survivors of prolonged, repeated childhood trauma. This is true even though most people who have been abused in childhood never come to psychiatric attention. To the extent that these people recover, they do so on their own.[21] While only a small minority of survivors, usually those with the most severe abuse histories, eventually become psychiatric patients, many or even most psychiatric patients are survivors of childhood abuse.[22] The data on this point are beyond contention. On careful questioning, 50-60 percent of psychiatric inpatients and 40-60 percent of outpatients report childhood histories of physical or sexual abuse or both.[23] In one study of psychiatric emergency room patients, 70 percent had abuse histories.[24] Thus abuse in childhood appears to be one of the main factors that lead a person to seek psychiatric treatment as an adult.[25]”

Mental HealthChild AbusePsychiatryChild Sexual AbusePsychotherapySurvivorsChildhood TraumaPhysical AbuseSurvivors Of AbuseMental Health SystemMetal Illness
Book:Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
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“...repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality. The child trapped in an abusive environment is faced with formidable tasks of adaptation. She must find a way to preserve a sense of trust in people who are untrustworthy, safety in a situation that is unsafe, control in a situation that is terrifyingly unpredictable, power in a situation of helplessness. Unable to care for or protect herself, she must compensate for the failures of adult care and protection with the only means at her disposal, an immature system of psychological defenses.”

TrustPersonalityTraumaBetrayalOverwhelmingChild AbusePtsdOverwhelmedCopingAbuse SurvivorsPowerlessnessTraumatic ExperiencesUnsafeTraumatizedOut Of ControlPost Traumatic Stress DisorderComplex PtsdUntrustworthyAbusive ParentsPosttraumatic Stress DisorderPersonality DisordersBetrayal TraumaDefense MechanismTerrifyingParental AbuseAbused ChildPsychological DefenceHelpelessness
Book:Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
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