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Judith Martin

Judith Martin Quotes

Journalist

Judith Martin, known by her pen name Miss Manners, is an American journalist and columnist renowned for her insights into etiquette and social norms. Born on September 13, 1938, she has been writing a etiquette column for The New York Times since 1962, remaining a prominent figure in the public eye to this day.

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Famous Judith Martin Quotes

“The stress of making small talk with in-laws is called being part of a family.”

Law Women Stress In-laws Small Talk

Author:Judith Martin

“Etiquette is about all of human social behavior. Behavior is regulated by law when etiquette breaks down or when the stakes are high - violations of life, limb, property and so on. Barring that, etiquette is a little social contract we make that we will restrain some of our more provocative impulses in return for living more or less harmoniously in a community.”

“Etiquette enables you to resolve conflict without just trading insults. Without etiquette, the irritations in modern life are so abrasive that you see people turning to the law to regulate everyday behavior. This frightens me; it's a major inroad on our basic freedoms.”

People Law Modern Conflict Behavior Majors Everyday Manners Insult Resolve Trading Modern Life Etiquette Irritation

Author:Judith Martin

“Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms.”

Source: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility

“We already know that anonymous letters are despicable. In etiquette, as well as in law, hiring a hit man to do the job does not relieve you of responsibility.”

Knows Men Wells Doe Jobs Law Responsibility Letters Etiquette In-laws Hiring Despicable Anonymous Letters

Author:Judith Martin

“You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you're trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you...There are plenty of people who say, 'We don't care about etiquette, but we can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!' Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable.”

People Ifs Way Want Trying Care Law Deals Behavior Everyday Don't Care Deny Plenty Behave Everyday Life Unbearable Etiquette Sanctions Want Him

Author:Judith Martin

“If it's against state law, it's generally considered a breach of Etiquette.”

Ifs States Law Etiquette Breach

Author:Judith Martin