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Judith Martin

Judith Martin Quotes

Journalist

Judith Martin, known by her pen name Miss Manners, is an American journalist and columnist renowned for her insights into etiquette and social norms. Born on September 13, 1938, she has been writing a etiquette column for The New York Times since 1962, remaining a prominent figure in the public eye to this day.

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Famous Judith Martin Quotes

“The whole country wants civility. Why don't we have it? It doesn't cost anything. No federal funding, no legislation is involved. One answer is the unwillingness to restrain oneself. Everybody wants other people to be polite to them, but they want the freedom of not having to be polite to others.”

People Want Country Whole Freedom Answers Involved Cost Oneself Equality Manners Willingness Legislation Polite Involvement Funding Civility Politeness Civil Society Restraining

Author:Judith Martin

“people, in forming their opinions of others, are usually lazy enough to go by whatever is most obvious or whatever chance remark they happen to hear. So the best policy is to dictate to others the opinion you want them to have of you.”

People Want Enough Happens Chance Opinion Policy Obvious Lazy Remarks

Book:Style and substance: a comedy of manners

Source: Style and substance: a comedy of manners

“Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms.”

Source: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility

“Precision marching is less important for the bridal party than maintaining the proper facial expresssions: The bridegroom must look awed; the bridesmaids, happy and excited; the father of the bride, proud; and the bride, demure. If the bridegroom feels doubtful, the bridesmaids, sulky, the father, worried, and the bride, blasé, nobody wants to know.”

Ifs Knows Want Feels Looks Important Father Party Proud Excited Worried Maintaining Brides Precision Doubtful Facial Bridal Bridegroom Bridesmaids Sulky Demure Father Of The Bride

Book:Miss Manners on Weddings

Source: Miss Manners on Weddings

“You don't want to look too chic at a Washington party or people will think you don't have a job worth losing.”

People Thinking Want Looks Jobs Party Losing Chic

Book:Style and substance: a comedy of manners

Source: Style and substance: a comedy of manners

“Fairness does not consist so much of everybody's doing the same thing, but of everybody's being willing to do something that others don't want to do.”

Want Doe Willing Fairness

Author:Judith Martin

“The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.”

People Way Want Inspirational Children Pay Mistake Growing Up Periods Taxes Late Humorous Parenting Invention Teenager Teens Adolescence Being A Teenager

Author:Judith Martin

“You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you're trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you...There are plenty of people who say, 'We don't care about etiquette, but we can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!' Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable.”

People Ifs Way Want Trying Care Law Deals Behavior Everyday Don't Care Deny Plenty Behave Everyday Life Unbearable Etiquette Sanctions Want Him

Author:Judith Martin