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Judith Martin

Judith Martin Quotes

Journalist

Judith Martin, known by her pen name Miss Manners, is an American journalist and columnist renowned for her insights into etiquette and social norms. Born on September 13, 1938, she has been writing a etiquette column for The New York Times since 1962, remaining a prominent figure in the public eye to this day.

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Famous Judith Martin Quotes

“Appearing to pay attention when someone is speaking is one of the cornerstones of real social interaction.”

Real Social Women Pay Attention Pay Attention Interaction Appearing Cornerstones Social Interaction

Author:Judith Martin

“Meanwhile, the empty forms of social behavior survive inappropriately in business situations. We all know that when a business sends its customers 'friendly reminders,' it really means business.”

Knows Mean Form Social Situation Behavior Empty Letters Debt Customers Friendly Reminders Really Mean Social Behavior

Author:Judith Martin

“Etiquette is about all of human social behavior. Behavior is regulated by law when etiquette breaks down or when the stakes are high - violations of life, limb, property and so on. Barring that, etiquette is a little social contract we make that we will restrain some of our more provocative impulses in return for living more or less harmoniously in a community.”

“To sacrifice the principles of manners, which require compassion and respect, and bat people over the head with their ignorance of etiquette rules they cannot be expected to know is both bad manners and poor etiquette. That social climbers and twits have misused etiquette throughout history should not be used as an argument for doing away with it.”

Source: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility

“Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms.”

Source: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without a comment is a wonderful social grace ... Children who have the habit of constantly correcting should be stopped before they grow up to drive spouses and everyone else crazy by interrupting stories to say, 'No, dear -- it was Tuesday, not Wednesday.”

Should Children Stories Social Grows Mistake Growing Up Grace Wonderful Crazy Habit Dear Allowing Comment Spouse Unimportant Tuesday Wednesday Correcting Interrupting Social Graces

Author:Judith Martin

“'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty.”

People Life Is Used Names Social Differences Talking Opinion Honesty Insulting Social Life Rudeness Candid

Author:Judith Martin

“One of the big no-nos in cyberspace is that you do not go into a social activity, a chat group or something like that, and start advertising or selling things. This etiquette rule is an attempt to separate one's social life, which should be pure enjoyment and relaxation, from the pressures of work.”

Should Bigs Social Groups Pure Activity Pressure Selling Advertising Enjoyment Relaxation Etiquette Social Life Cyberspace Selling Things

Author:Judith Martin

“Charming villains have always had a decided social advantage over well-meaning people who chew with their mouths open.”

People Wells Social Mouths Advantage Decided Manners Villain Charming

Book:Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson

Source: Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson

“Hypocrisy is not generally a social sin, but a virtue.”

Social Sin Virtue Hypocrisy

Book:Miss Manners' guide to rearing perfect children

Source: Miss Manners' guide to rearing perfect children

“Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.”

Social Mistake Grace Wonderful Allowing Comment Unimportant Social Graces

Author:Judith Martin

“There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class.”

America Three Social Women Class Middle Middle Class Upper Class Social Class Social Service Lower Class Upper Middle Class

Book:Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior

Source: Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior