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Judith Martin

Judith Martin Quotes

Journalist

Judith Martin, known by her pen name Miss Manners, is an American journalist and columnist renowned for her insights into etiquette and social norms. Born on September 13, 1938, she has been writing a etiquette column for The New York Times since 1962, remaining a prominent figure in the public eye to this day.

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Famous Judith Martin Quotes

“The etiquette business has its emergencies, heaven knows, but it is in the nature of etiquette emergencies that once one realizes what one has done, it is too late. One might as well get a good night's sleep and send flowers with an apology in the morning.”

Knows Wells Done Might Night Heaven Realizing Sleep Morning Flower Late Too Late Apology Emergencies Etiquette Good Night

Author:Judith Martin

“it's no longer socially acceptable to make bigoted statements and racist remarks. Some people are having an awful time with that: 'I didn't know anybody would be offended!' Well, where have you been? I remember when people got away with it and they don't anymore. That's fabulous.”

People Knows Wells Would Be Remember Statements Awful Manners Racist Bigotry Acceptable Fabulous Offended Remember When Remarks Name Calling

Author:Judith Martin

“Meanwhile, the empty forms of social behavior survive inappropriately in business situations. We all know that when a business sends its customers 'friendly reminders,' it really means business.”

Knows Mean Form Social Situation Behavior Empty Letters Debt Customers Friendly Reminders Really Mean Social Behavior

Author:Judith Martin

“To sacrifice the principles of manners, which require compassion and respect, and bat people over the head with their ignorance of etiquette rules they cannot be expected to know is both bad manners and poor etiquette. That social climbers and twits have misused etiquette throughout history should not be used as an argument for doing away with it.”

Source: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility

“I have always believed that the key to a happy marriage was the ability to say with a straight face, 'Why, I don't know what you're worrying about. I thought you were very funny last night and I'm sure everybody else did, too.”

Knows Lasts Faces Night Ability Worry Keys Last Night Always Believe Happy Marriage Straight Face

Book:Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson

Source: Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson

“Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms.”

Source: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility

“Precision marching is less important for the bridal party than maintaining the proper facial expresssions: The bridegroom must look awed; the bridesmaids, happy and excited; the father of the bride, proud; and the bride, demure. If the bridegroom feels doubtful, the bridesmaids, sulky, the father, worried, and the bride, blasé, nobody wants to know.”

Ifs Knows Want Feels Looks Important Father Party Proud Excited Worried Maintaining Brides Precision Doubtful Facial Bridal Bridegroom Bridesmaids Sulky Demure Father Of The Bride

Book:Miss Manners on Weddings

Source: Miss Manners on Weddings

“Washington knows that it is not safe to kick people who are down until you find out what their next stop will be.”

People Knows Next Safe Kicks

Book:Style and substance: a comedy of manners

Source: Style and substance: a comedy of manners

“When people start hurling insults at you, you know their minds are closed and there's no point in debating. You disengage yourself as quickly as possible from the situation.”

People Knows Mind Situation Insult No Point Hurling

Author:Judith Martin

“We already know that anonymous letters are despicable. In etiquette, as well as in law, hiring a hit man to do the job does not relieve you of responsibility.”

Knows Men Wells Doe Jobs Law Responsibility Letters Etiquette In-laws Hiring Despicable Anonymous Letters

Author:Judith Martin

“. . . women were brought up to have only one set of manners. A woman was either a lady or she wasn't, and we all know what the latter meant. Not even momentary lapses were allowed; there is no female equivalent of the boys-will-be-boys concept.”

Knows Boys Concepts Female Manners Latter Momentary Lapses Miss Manners

Book:Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson

Source: Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson

“She only maintains that it is possible, under some circumstances, for a lady to murder her husband; but that a woman who wears ankle-strap shoes and smokes on the street corner, though she may be a joy to all who know her and have devoted her life to charity, could never qualify as a lady.”

Knows May Joy Streets Circumstances Husband Murder Charity Shoes Corners Smoke Smoking Devoted Ankles Street Corners

Book:Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium

Source: Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium

“It is wrong to wear diamonds before luncheon, except on one’s marriage rings. Before, after, and during breakfast, luncheon and dinner, it is vulgar to wear a mixture of colored precious stones. It is always a comfort to know that so many things one can’t afford to do anyway are vulgar.”

Knows Comfort Stones Dinner Rings Breakfast Diamond Vulgar Mixtures Precious Stones

Author:Judith Martin