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Martin Bobgan Biography

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“Sinful attempts to control may come from a lust for power or from unsuccessful attempts to correct problem situations. Underneath sinful attempts to control or manipulate is the deadliest sin of all: pride. It is pride that puts self, self's interests, desires, plans, and ideas first. It is often the self-righteous pride of thinking that self knows what is best.”

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Book:12 Steps to Destruction: Codependecy/Recovery Heresies
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“An example of making this delineation of responsibility, outside the realm of codependency, is when a person witnesses for Christ and shares the Gospel with an unbeliever. While the Christian is responsible to the Lord, he is not responsible for the unbeliever's response to the gospel. That is between God and the unbeliever. If the Christian who testifies for the Lord without apparent results thinks it's his fault the listener is not converted, he is limiting the sovereignty of God and taking responsibility beyond his capability. Likewise if a spouse or friend assumes responsibility beyond what God has given, he is operating outside his own area of obedience to the Lord. When that happens, he may tend to discontinue obeying God, since he is unsuccessful in accomplishing the responsibility given to others.”

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Book:12 Steps to Destruction: Codependecy/Recovery Heresies
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“Indeed, many relationships identified as “codependent” do involve pride, not low self-worth or a deficiency of selflove. An underlying lie of people married to drunks and other “losers” may be their own sense of mastery and self-confidence in being able to change others through their own wonderful goodness and love. They may have excessive belief in their own ability to help another person, or they may think that others will change just because of being married to them. They may also have high expectations of the spouse being forever grateful for being rescued by such an excellent partner. Then when their heroic efforts fail, they may cast blame onto themselves as well as their spouses, parents, or whomever else might be in the picture. They may then experience feelings of hopelessness about themselves and their circumstances. They may be filled with self-pity and be dissatisfied with themselves. But that is not true self-hatred. That is self-love that does not want to suffer.”

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Book:12 Steps to Destruction: Codependecy/Recovery Heresies
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“The Bible warns about religious transformations that may appear good and therefore deceive many: 'For Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.' (2 Corinthians 11:13-14)”

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Book:12 Steps to Destruction: Codependecy/Recovery Heresies
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“With "anything people do but shouldn't" labeled "disease," those who oppose Christianity may very well call prayer, worship, reading the Bible, faith in Jesus Christ, and obeying the Lord 'diseases" or symptoms of a religious "disease." The organization Fundamentalists Anonymous is based upon the idea that conservative Christianity (believing that Jesus is the only way and that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God) is a serious, debilitating addiction. Unfortunately, the three Christian authors of 'Love Is a Choice' have listed this anti-Christian organization at the end of their book with this recommendation: "Seek them out locally.”

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Author:Martin Bobgan
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“... [I]nstead of taking this poor sinner to the cross to put self to death and to 1 John 1:9 for forgiveness and cleansing, Springle talks about how this poor codependent has been suffering from a lack of self-worth. In face, he declares that the codependent's sin is the idolatry of trying to "get his security and value from someone or something other than the Lord." Thus the answer is to get your self-worth from Jesus. This sounds more like the gospel of Adler, Maslow, and Rogers (with Jesus conveniently added to meet the hierarchy of needs) than the gospel Paul preached.”

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Book:12 Steps to Destruction: Codependecy/Recovery Heresies
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“The law of God, clarified by Jesus throughout His ministry, together with the good news of God's mercy and salvation, will motivate people to open their hearts to Him or to harden their hearts. When a person exercises saving faith, given to him by the grace of God, he believes both the law which would condemn him and the gospel which saves him from that condemnation and gives him new life. When a person hardens his heart, he may believe enough of the law to feel threatened, but instead of accepting the death blow to self and the offer of new life in Jesus, he defends himself with self-justification (excuses), self-righteousness (developing his own moral character), and self-deception (avoidance of the truth through rationalizing or anesthetizing the mind with distractions or drugs).”

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Book:12 Steps to Destruction: Codependecy/Recovery Heresies
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“Victory in codependency/recovery thus sounds like this: 'As I changed, all hell broke loose in my marriage . . . My husband and I began to fight a lot. My changes threatened him. I kept getting better, but the healthier I got, the worse it got at home. . . . I consider filing for divorce a real triumph in my recovery.”

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Book:12 Steps to Destruction: Codependecy/Recovery Heresies
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