“Perfectionism is the unparalleled defense for emotionally abandoned children. The existential unattainability of perfection saves the child from giving up, unless or until, scant success forces him to retreat into the depression of a dissociative disorder, or launches him hyperactively into an incipient conduct disorder. Perfectionism also provides a sense of meaning and direction for the powerless and unsupported child. In the guise of self-control, striving to be perfect offers a simulacrum of a sense of control. Self-control is also safer to pursue because abandoning parents typically reserve their severest punishment for children who are vocal about their negligence.” Mental HealthPunishmentMental IllnessChild AbuseSelf ControlEmotional AbuseAbandonmentDissociative Identity DisorderPerfectionismDissociationSurvivorsPowerlessnessDissociative DisorderPsychological AbuseSurvivors Of AbuseAbusive ParentsDefense MechanismChild NeglectEmotionally UnavailableConduct Disorder Author:Pete Walker
“Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs and demands of others. They act as if they unconsciously believe that the price of admission to any relationship is the forfeiture of all their needs, rights, preferences and boundaries. They often begin life like the precocious children described in Alice Miler’s 'The Drama Of The Gifted Child', who learn that a modicum of safety and attachment can be gained by becoming the helpful and compliant servants of their parents. They are usually the children of at least one narcissistic parent who uses contempt to press them into service- scaring and shaming them out of developing a healthy sense of self: an egoic locus of self-protection, self-care and self-compassion.” RelationshipsAbuseTraumaChild AbusePtsdFawn Author:Pete Walker