“Perfectionism is the unparalleled defense for emotionally abandoned children. The existential unattainability of perfection saves the child from giving up, unless or until, scant success forces him to retreat into the depression of a dissociative disorder, or launches him hyperactively into an incipient conduct disorder. Perfectionism also provides a sense of meaning and direction for the powerless and unsupported child. In the guise of self-control, striving to be perfect offers a simulacrum of a sense of control. Self-control is also safer to pursue because abandoning parents typically reserve their severest punishment for children who are vocal about their negligence.” Mental HealthPunishmentMental IllnessChild AbuseSelf ControlEmotional AbuseAbandonmentDissociative Identity DisorderPerfectionismDissociationSurvivorsPowerlessnessDissociative DisorderPsychological AbuseSurvivors Of AbuseAbusive ParentsDefense MechanismChild NeglectEmotionally UnavailableConduct Disorder Author:Pete Walker
“Many psychologists use the term existential to describe the fact that all human beings are subject to painful events. These are the normal recurring afflictions that everyone suffers from time to time. Horrible world events, difficult choices, illnesses and periodic feelings go abject loneliness are common examples of existential pain. Existential calamities can be especially triggering for survivors, because we typically have so much family-of-origin calamity for them to trigger us into reliving.” FamilyTriggersSurvivorsLonlinessTriggerCptsdFamily DysfunctionExistential Triggers Book:Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving Source: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
“I am continuously struck by how frequently the various thought processes of the inner critic trigger overwhelming emotional flashbacks. This is because the PTSD-derived inner critic weds shame and self-hate about imperfection to fear of abandonment, and mercilessly drive the psyche with the entwined serpents of perfectionism and endangerment. Recovering individuals must learn to recognize, confront and disidentify from the many inner critic processes that tumble them back in emotional time to the awful feelings of overwhelming fear, self-hate, hopelessness and self-disgust that were part and parcel of their original childhood abandonment.” ShameImperfectionAbandonmentPerfectionismAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsHealing InsightsSelf CriticismSelf HateComplex PtsdFlashbacksSelf Disgust Author:Pete Walker