“I was raised in an era when part of respecting your elders was to call them by Mr. or Mrs. When my children were growing up, an occasional child would call me Susan. It was jarring, felt disrespectful, and I did not like it. We reached a mutual agreement and their friends began calling me Ms. Susan. Perhaps this is more prevalent in the South, however, your awareness and consideration can help prevent social missteps.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“It is wise to use titles for people in positions of power, higher education, seniority, or maturity, unless otherwise instructed. This may sound old-fashioned, but practicing respectful traditions will earn you points and inevitably make you seem more cultured and sophisticated. This is especially true with older generations.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“To call certain people, such as your boss, teachers, professors, doctors, your parent’s friends, etc. by their first names might be considered disrespectful. It is best to err on the side of caution until you know what is appropriate.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Asking permission to call someone by their first name is a gesture of gentility and consideration. And once permission is granted, the gate is open for mutual respect and mutual purpose. Simply demonstrating this courtesy before making an assumption is impressive. Once permission is granted, you have earned points on both sides.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Make It Fun. Have you ever been publicly acknowledged or called upon in a room filled with people? Depending on your personality type, it can be either exhilarating or mortifying. It certainly does grab your attention, as well as everyone else’s!”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“When I am working with groups of thirty or fewer people, there is a powerful name exercise that I do to break the ice, start with humor, and begin my program with positive energy. One by one, each person will introduce themselves using an adjective that describes their personality that starts with the first letter of their name. “Spontaneous Susan,” “Dependable Dave,” and “Happy Helen” are a few quick examples. The benefit for the participants is twofold: it makes each person feel good and it makes people laugh. Additionally, it enables me to learn their names so that I can integrate them into the entire presentation for full engagement and participation.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Using names with respect and consideration tells a person that you care, are present and engaged, and that you are genuinely interested in making a connection. You make them feel remembered!”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Uh-Oh . . . One year I was the guest speaker at an annual conference. The person who coordinated the agenda mistakenly typed my name as “Sue” rather than “Susan.” I felt odd and a little disrespected because they didn’t take the time to ask the spelling of my name. It felt awkward when I saw it on all the tables throughout the ballroom, to say the least. I asked, “Please make sure that you introduce me as Susan because I’ve never been called Sue.” The initial impression was sticky for an instant, but they quickly made it right. The correction was shared and everything turned out fine. Even an innocent and unintentional name error can impact your first impressions. Making a joke about it once I was on stage was a light-hearted way to confirm my real name.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“It is generally believed that nearly 40 percent of your first impression will be set from the tone of your voice. Your vocal thermometer can be more impactful than the actual words you use.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Every time you speak, you are using your voice to connect with others, whether it is in-person, on the phone, or in a recorded message.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Is your voice value delivering the image you wish to convey? Is your voice coming across as smart, friendly, and positive or ignorant, rude, and negative?”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“The way you deliver the words you say becomes your “vocal image. This "vocal image" can make or break your first impressions, impact your communication, and determine how people respond to you.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“What can you do to ensure that your voice value translates into impression value?”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Every professional voice coach worth their salt will bring you back to the importance of tone, pace, and pitch. While these concepts were introduced earlier in The Art of Body Language section, we can now elaborate and take a deeper dive into how you can use your voice to improve your communications.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Your encounters will be more successful when you slow down, pay attention, and become more mindfully aware of the world around you. Heightening your awareness in your social, situational, contextual, orientational, and cultural scenarios will improve your agility as you adapt to new social settings.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Mindfulness means paying attention to what is happening at this very moment and being keenly aware of your surroundings and the people in it.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Whether your awareness is focused on your own emotions and perceptions or directed toward the preferences, needs, and feelings of others, being mindful (aware and attentive) will enable you to respond more appropriately.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“This deliberate focus and sensitivity allow you to "put yourself in another person’s shoes and walk around a while" to better understand where they are coming from and what they are all about.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Mindfulness is a quiet strength and deeply rooted value which many other cultures understand and often practice better than we do. It can be puzzling to people from other countries as to why Americans are so task-driven and action-oriented.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“Developing this ability instills a sixth sense for navigating human relationships with dignity, grace, and discretion, thus making an intentional and thoughtful first impression.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“As Americans, we typically move full steam ahead without much regard to mindfulness or thoughtful reflection, often to one’s own detriment. Yet it is that same propensity for bold action which makes fulfilling the "American Dream" possible—where an immigrant can come to our country with nothing and achieve extraordinary things.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Although it may serve you well, any strength or skill which is overused can become a limitation when it forces you to constantly be moving and looking for the next best thing. Distractions, interruptions, and incessantly chasing after the next golden ring can become the norm.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“With your mind alert and your eyes wide open, you will be better able to assess your space and your place for optimizing exchanges and your communication impressions.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Becoming more socially aware involves greater understanding of the dynamics of social interactions to assure you achieve harmonious outcomes.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“When you are socially aware, you will realize whether you are forcing yourself into a conversation or have actually been invited to participate.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Sometimes you must earn the right to be included. Otherwise, you may appear awkward or pushy.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“When a person is focused completely on self it is nearly impossible to be mindful of others at the same time. That is a contradiction for healthy communication, networking, and relationship building.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Sometimes it is better to refrain from engaging in conversation because making no impression is better than making a bad impression.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“When people can't give anything and are only there for themselves, why should others use their time and energy to get involved? There's no benefit.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Do you attend networking events to give out as many cards as possible or is it your intention to deliver something of value? When you are busy charging ahead with your own agenda, you're not meeting the needs of anyone but yourself—and it's obvious!”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“At a Chamber of Commerce networking breakfast, two of my friends and I were standing in a circle talking. A stranger approached, interrupted our little reunion, and gave each of us her card. She then began talking about herself and her business without a hint of social awareness, or care about her interruption. She even had the tactless gall to ask us for referrals. When she left our small circle, we looked at each other and laughed, “What was that?”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Situational awareness enables you to observe your periphery with a clear vision and emotional foresight, which may inevitably keep you socially, physically, or professionally out of harm's way. Connect the dots.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“When you enter a room, a social situation, or a business meeting, be mindful of cues; read between the lines to better understand people and events. What do these things tell you?”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“How do you know when to advance the conversation or when there's something still unresolved? When you are situationally aware, you watch the body language and notice the cues that are given to you. Listening and observing are being mindful in the best sense of the word.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Being “appropriate” means being suitable, fitting, relevant, or proper in a situation. What may be appropriate in one circumstance can be terribly inappropriate in another. How does one discern? Sometimes it is simply a matter of maturity and experience.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“Contextual awareness represents a continuum of behaviors, which illustrates how and why groups of people unite or divide among cultures.”
Source: The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact
“UN-Impressive ‘Compliments’ . . .
• When compliments are used as a passive-aggressive way to manipulate others for personal gain.
• Delivering a back-handed compliment which makes others feel bad.
• Dishonesty—you say it but really do not mean it.
• False bravado.
• Manufacturing the moment for your ulterior motives.
• Pandering to win affection, a vote, or approval.
• Exaggerating and being over-zealous.
• Being hypocritical.
• Expressing preferential treatment or making an unfair comparison.
• When it draws attention to a person’s weakness, disabilities, or shortcomings.
• When it is inappropriate and off-color.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“Graciously Accepting a Compliment. How many times have you offered someone a sincere compliment only to have it thrown back in your face as if your assessment were wrong? How did you feel? Women are notorious for this social misstep and poor maneuver. Why do they do it? Rejecting a compliment makes the compliment-giver feel as though they should have said nothing.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“Refusing someone’s kind words can cause the one doing the complimenting to feel bad. Not only might they regret trying to be nice, but you may have cut off your chances of being complimented by them ever again. Being humble is one thing; being rude is another. Practice receiving compliments with grace, dignity, appreciation, and gratitude. The perfect response to a fine compliment is simply, “Thank you!”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“Why Polish the Gold?
• It builds your confidence when you realize that your words have power and can positively influence.
• As you seek to find the good in others, you will enjoy the ripple effect reminder for finding the good in yourself.
• It makes a great ice-breaker to begin a conversation.
• It helps you meet new people and make new friends.
• It strengthens your relationships and builds mutual admiration.
• It brings more happiness and joy into your life.
• A little praise goes a long way to make others happy.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“Service [sur-vis] noun
1. the act of helping, aiding, or doing work for another.
“Does this dictionary definition sound simplistic? Well, it is foundational to delivering world-class, game-changing service. Did you notice it didn’t mention you? True service takes the focus completely off you and devotes it entirely to the needs of another person.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“It is unimpressive to interrupt another person while they are talking. Interrupting someone in mid-sentence demonstrates that your focus is on yourself, not the person talking. I had a friend who used a humorous retort whenever someone would interrupt him. He would graciously, albeit sarcastically, say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to speak while you were interrupting.” It always got a laugh, yet he was cleverly letting the intruder know of his infraction without being too confrontational.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“A man worth his salt will treat a lady like a lady and make the effort to be a gentleman. While independent women are fully capable of being self-reliant, the majority whom I know appreciate being treated with respect, consideration, and chivalry. For the women who yearn for the old-fashioned, good-hearted, chivalrous guy, I promise, they do exist.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“It is unimpressive to not return what’s been borrowed. Whether you have borrowed money, folding chairs, yard tools, or a popular book, always make sure you return to another person what is rightfully theirs. Lending it to you in the first place was a gift of trust and assistance. Being slow to give back in return may be considered rude.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Catch people doing things right:
Outstanding leaders know that people will be more engaged, perform at higher levels, and be more loyal when they are appreciated and celebrated. Jeff West, international speaker and author of The Unexpected Tour Guide, shares that “People will jump over high hurdles, fight fires and break through walls for leaders who find them doing things right. Building that kind of chemistry is essential if a team is going to jell.” Capitalize on the opportunity to notice what people are doing right at work and at home and they will deliver their best. As the old saying goes, “A person who feels appreciated will always do more than expected.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person:
1. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
2. Reciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind.
3. Say "excuse me" when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone’s space, or need to get someone’s attention.
4. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake or are in the wrong.
5. Live by the "Golden Rule" and treat others the way you would like to be treated.
6. When dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal.
7. Acknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person:
1. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
2. Reciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind.
3. Say "excuse me" when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone’s space, or need to get someone’s attention.
4. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake or are in the wrong.
5. Live by the "Golden Rule" and treat others the way you would like to be treated.
6. When dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal.
7. Acknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries.
8. Reply to invitations, regardless of whether you will be able to attend.
9. Acknowledge and show gratitude for gifts and gestures of hospitality.
10. Put things back where they belong. Leave the world a better place than how you found it.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“All manners are not created equal and can conjure different interpretations based on the environment in which they are being displayed.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact
“What is appropriate in one setting may be entirely inappropriate in another. How you behave at a football game is different than how you behave at your sister’s wedding. How you interact with your closest friends will be different than how you engage with your boss.”
Source: The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact