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Vanessa de Largie Books

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Don't Hit Me!

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“Instead of empowering women, intersectional feminism encourages them to be victims. It is an endless marathon to find out who is the most hard done by. And it forces women to do and say the politically correct thing, in order to keep the sisterhood happy. This goes doubly so for women like Sommers, given the racial politics of identity that sees white women constantly forced to apologise for being the oppressor due to our privilege, race and skin colour. And if we are not on board with forfeiting our individual experience and spruiking an endorsed narrative – – then we are the problem.”

FeminismIntersectional Feminism
Author:Vanessa de Largie
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“The problem with the supposed “orgasm gap’ is it assumes that climaxing is the purpose of sexual pleasure, when it’s clearly not. Approaching sex with the ambition of getting your rocks off is a selfish way to enter fuckery – sex doesn’t have to end because one partner orgasms. Placing limitations on sexual intimacy is damaging. If one or both partners don’t pass the finishing line, you haven’t failed. Sex is not a race or a competition, yet the orgasm gap tries to make it so.”

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Author:Vanessa de Largie
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“One often reads of elite athletes for whom their chosen sport is their life. Not simply a livelihood or a hobby, but an obsession that informs every aspect of their mental, physical, emotional and philosophical being. I am similarly consumed with sex. Far from just the act of sex, it is its possibilities that dictate my thoughts and motives. Sex is the distillation of my own essence, it is the prism through which my life is processed.”

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Author:Vanessa de Largie
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“Often after work, I wander aimlessly around the city. I sit in bars and look at women's faces, searching for a piece of myself. I want to return to a different home, a home where he isn't. I guzzle champagne and savour the bravado and false hope it gives me. The bars eventually close and it's time to stagger back to Cell 208, where my lover awaits me, with clenched fist and gritted teeth.”

Domestic ViolenceViolence Against WomenPhysical ViolenceAbusive Partners QuotesViolent Relationship
Book:Don't Hit Me!
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“I have metabolised my sexual trauma by writing columns, blogs, books and a one-woman show. I also regularly participate in erotic photoshoots. My brand of ‘fierce female sexuality’ doesn’t sit well with a lot of people. How dare I control my image and narrative by exploiting my sexual self online? Instead I should wait around to be the victim of revenge porn and have my explicit images shared without permission.”

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“Victims of rape and sexual assault are mollycoddled by the press. We are perpetually infantilised by commentators, journalists, and the public alike. People who haven’t experienced rape (or sexual abuse of any kind) find the idea of survivors having great sex lives and moving forward triumphantly – worrying. It doesn’t quite fit with their perception of us and how they understand victims of sexual violence. In most cases, people prefer to stereotype survivors – viewing them as downtrodden victims but often this doesn’t align with the actual reality.”

RapeSexual AssaultSexual Assault QuotesRape Quotes
Author:Vanessa de Largie
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