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William Ury Quotes

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Famous William Ury Quotes

“Whether you attack or yield, you are reacting. You are off track, no longer focused on the prize—the protection of your core interests and needs. Yielding rewards the other’s abusive behavior, and counterattacking reinforces it. In either case, you interrupt the other’s process of accepting our No. The choice is yours. The moment you react to the other’s reaction, you are initiating an action-reaction cycle that can go on forever. The alternative is not to react but rather to stay true to your underlying Yes. Keep your focus on what matters to you.”

InterestFocusProtectYieldNeedAttackReactOff Track
Book:The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes
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“Most attackers are looking for easy victims. They’re not looking for a fight, not even a verbal one. Saying No makes you a less attractive target. Submitting and being nice to attackers in the hope that they will be nice to you in return is not the safest strategy.” Saying “No!” helps you gather your energy, reminds you of your right to say No, draws attention, and expresses your power.”

EnergyPowerNiceVictimTargetFightSubmitRightAttackSay No
Book:The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes
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“Take Away Their Stick If the other’s reaction to our No is to hurt or threaten us, our first instinct may be to hurt them back. A more effective strategy, however, is to neutralize the impact of their behavior. If, as in the story of the Zen master, they are threatening to hit you with a stick, don’t hit them back; just take away the stick. In other words, don’t attack the other, but simply remove their ability to attack you.”

HurtStrategyThreatAttackStickNeutralize
Book:The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes
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