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All Focus Respect Refuse Positive Interest Power Attack Need Stand Up Acknowledge Confidence Consequence Important Protect React Relationship Withdraw Action Agreement Alternative

Famous William Ury Quotes

“Instead of telling your friend, “I’m not going with you to the game,” say, “I’ll catch you after the game.” In other words, put your focus on the positive while creating the boundary you need.”

Focus Positive Boundary

Book:The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

Source: The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

“If you open a door, however, as Diane Nash did with her persistent questions, you offer the other a way out and all your power can be deployed in persuading them to take it. In short, rather than working to frustrate the other, focus on redirecting their attention to a positive outcome.”

Attention Power Positive Door Outcome Persuade Redirect

Book:The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

Source: The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

“Framing your solution negatively, such as “Don’t shout at me,” tends to focus the other’s attention even more on the unwanted behavior and may unconsciously reinforce it, particularly if you are shouting back at them. It is more effective to say, quietly, “Please talk to me in a quiet tone.” Focus the other’s mind clearly on the positive action you want them to take.”

Action Focus Positive Frame

Book:The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

Source: The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

“The son changed the focus from the negative (“Sell the house”) to the positive (“Try this new arrangement for six weeks”). In other words, don’t just tell the other to stop doing something you don’t want; ask them to start doing something you do want.”

Want Focus Positive Negative

Book:The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

Source: The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

“Acknowledge the truth of the difficulties, thank the person, and focus on a positive future.”

Truth Focus Positive Future Difficulty Acknowledge Thank

Book:The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

Source: The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes

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The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to YesRelated source material

Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult SituationsRelated source material

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