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Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

“I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with.”

Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

Book:Holidays in Hell

Work

Holidays in Hell

This book takes readers on a journey through some of the most dangerous and inhospitable places on Earth, offering a humorous and critical look at the motivations and experiences of those who choose to vacation in such locations. more

Author

P. J. O'Rourke, born on November 14, 1947, is a renowned satirical writer known for his humorous and satirical commentary on political and social issues. His distinctive writing style, characterized by wit and sharpness, has won him a wide readership. more

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“Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, "And let there be aluminum siding." Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.”

Ifs Men Made Said Ideas God Humor Funny Courses Sound Church Tree Worship Humorous Golf Climbing Golf Course Worship God Aluminum Siding

Book:I'm Not Really Here

Source: I'm Not Really Here

“From the air, Vatican City looked like a marble Monopoly set. The Church owned all the property from Broadwalk to Illinois Avenue, has three hotels on every lot, and no matter how often it tossed the dice you just knew it would never land on Go to Jail, it would be forever passing Go and collecting $200.”

Matter Humor Would Be Funny Three Church Cities Forever Air Land Humorous Property Passing Passings Hotel Jail Monopoly Avenues Collecting Marble Dice Illinois

Book:Another Roadside Attraction

Source: Another Roadside Attraction

“Like most people who smoked umpteen cigarettes a day, I tasted only the first one. The succeeding umpteen minus one were a compulsive ritual which had no greater savour than the fumes of burning money.”

People Firsts Funny Greater Succeed Humorous Burning Smoking Ritual Cigarette Cigar Minus Savour

Book:The Complete Unreliable Memoirs

Source: The Complete Unreliable Memoirs

“I dare to dream greatly; I dare to fail greatly. I dare to tolerate the ashes of my unfulfilled dreams, for I may dream again. I dare not tolerate the ashes of my unfulfilled life, for I may never live again.”

May Dream Failing Dare Tolerate Ashes Dare To Dream Unfulfilled Dreams

Author:Philippos Syrigos

“John Connally's conversion to the GOP raised the intellectual level of both parties.”

Humor Funny Levels Party Republican Intellectual Humorous Democrat Raised Conversion Gop

Author:Frank Mankiewicz

“The Democrats believe that if God did not want them to raise taxes, He would not have created the Internal Revenue Service.”

Ifs Want Believe Humor Funny Party Republican Taxes Humorous Raises Democrat Internals Revenue

Author:Dave Barry

“The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."”

Knows Said Humor Funny America Party Republican Humorous Democrat

Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

Source: Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

“The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle.”

Humor Funny Party Republican Humorous Democrat Rome Burned Fiddle

Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

Source: Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

“In my experience, if you go to a hospital for any reason whatsoever, including to read the gas meter, they give you a tetanus shot.”

Ifs Giving Reason Humor Funny Humorous Shots Doctors Medicine Including Gas Hospitals Meter Tetanus

Book:Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

Source: Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

“I feel that nasal spray is a wondrous medical achievement, because it is supposed to relieve nasal congestion, and by gadfrey, it relieves nasal congestion. What I'm saying is that it actually works, which is something you can say about very few other aspects of the medical establishment.”

Feels Humor Funny Achievement Humorous Aspect Doctors Medicine Medical Establishment Wondrous Spray Congestion

Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits