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Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse

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Renee Fredrickson

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“When there is inconsistency in belief and action (such as being violated by someone who is supposed to love you) our mind has to make an adjustment so that thought and action are aligned. So sometimes the adjustment that the mind makes is for the victim to bring her or his behavior in line with the violator, since the violator cannot be controlled by the victim. Our greatest source of survival is to adapt to our environment. So increasing emotional intimacy with a person who is forcing physical intimacy makes sense in our minds. It resolves cognitive dissonance.”

HealingSurvivalVictimDomestic ViolenceSexual AbuseRapeViolationChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsIncestHealing InsightsSexual ViolenceCognitive DissonanceHealing From AbuseChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorRecovery From AbuseStockholm SyndromeEmotional IntimacyTrauma BondingSexual Abuse Of A Child
Book:Tree Leaves: Breaking The Fall Of The Loud Silence
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“Power is confusing for us, perhaps even terrifying, because our relationship with it had an unfortunate beginning. Someone in a position of power over us used and abused us…It seems as if power were something to be wielded, always at someone’s expense, usually our own.”

HealingPowerAbuseSurvivorChild AbusePowerlessChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsPowerlessnessAbuse Of PowerChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorMisuse Of PowerParental AuthoritySurvivor Of AbuseAbuse Of AuthorityAbusive ParentingAbuse Of Trust
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
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“In order to survive our youth, many of us became sensitized to which conditions we had to play to, to receive attention. No wonder we mistook this attention for love. We thought love came in finite quantities—it had to be competed for among siblings, or it had to be paid for with exacting dues.”

HealingSurvivorChild AbuseEmotional AbuseChild Sexual AbuseCompetitivenessHealing InsightsUnlovedChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorChild Abuse SurvivorEmotional NeglectConditional LoveParental NeglectSurvival Mechanism
Author:Maureen Brady
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“Since most sexual abuse begins well before puberty, preventive education, if it is to have any effect at all, should begin early in grade school. Ideally, information on sexual abuse should be integrated into a general curriculum of sex education. In those communities where the experiment has been tried, it has been shown conclusively that children can learn what they most need to know about sexual abuse, without becoming unduly frightened or developing generally negative sexual attitudes. In Minneapolis, Minnesota, for example, the Hennepin County Attorney's office developed an education program on sexual assault for elementary school children. The program was presented to all age groups in four different schools, some eight hundred children in all. The presentation opened with a performance by a children’s theater group, illustrating the difference between affectionate touching, and exploitative touching. The children’s responses to the skits indicated that they understood the distinction very well indeed. Following the presentation, about one child in six disclosed a sexual experience with an adult, ranging from an encounter with an exhibitionist to involvement in incest. Most of the children, both boys and girls, had not told anyone prior to the classroom discussion. In addition to basic information on sexual relations and sexual assault, children need to know that they have the right to their own bodily integity.”

Sexual AbuseRapeChild Sexual AbuseSexual AssaultIncestRape CultureSex EducationChild RapeChild Sexual Abuse PreventionRape PreventionSexual Abuse PreventionSexual Violance
Book:Father-Daughter Incest
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“You may experience waves of disbelief after each memory you retrieve. Whether as a phase or waves, the disbelief is usually accompanied by massive self-hate and guilt. ‘How can I even think such a thing? I must really be warped,’ you tell yourself.”

Child AbuseDisbeliefDissociationChild Sexual AbuseIncestSelf DoubtRepressed MemoriesDissociative AmnesiaChild Abuse SurvivorRecovered MemoriesTrauma MemoryDissociated
Book:Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse
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“Society gives the image of sexual violators as weird, ugly, anti-social, alcoholics. Society gives the impression that violators kidnap children are out of their homes and take them to some wooded area and abandon them after the violation. Society gives the impression that everyone hates people who violate children. If all of these myths were true, healing would not be as challenging as it is. Half of our healing is about the actual abuse. The other half is about how survivors fit into society in the face of the myths that people hold in order to make themselves feel safe. The truth is that 80% of childhood sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members. Yet we rarely hear the word “incest”. The word is too ugly and the truth is too scary. Think about what would happen if we ran a campaign to end incest instead of childhood sexual abuse. The number one place that children should know they are safe is in their homes. As it stands, as long as violators keep sexual abuse within the family, the chances of repercussion by anyone is pretty low. Wives won’t leave violating husbands, mothers won’t kick their violating children out of the home, and violating grandparents still get invited to holiday dinners. It is time to start cleaning house. If we stop incest first, then we will strengthen our cause against all sexual abuse.”

HealingSocietyAbuseDenialViolationChild Sexual AbuseSurvivorsMythsIncestHealing InsightsSociety DenialDysfunctional FamiliesChild RapeClean HouseHealing From AbuseRecovery From AbusePedophile ProtectorsPedophile Protector
Author:Rosenna Bakari
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