“My aunt was a fashion model and I happened to go to her agency with her, one day, when I was five. A talent agent said, "You should come talk to us." I did a few things. I did an indie movie and commercials, and stuff.” ShouldSaidStuffFiveHappenedTalentFashionOne DayModelsAgentsAgencyAuntFashion ModelIndie Movie Author:Ellar Coltrane
“My agent said to me five years ago, 'Hugh, I can see one day you... if I had to plan a goal for you, it's for you to have the kind of career that Sinatra had.'” IfsYearsKindSaidI CanGoalCareersFivePlansOne DayYears AgoAgentsFive Years Author:Hugh Jackman
“I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!” GivingWritingSaidStillsWarWholeLastsSufferingFiveCrazyMinutesGunGive MeArmyShockWoundedFive MinutesWipePsychiatrist Author:Jackie Mason
“After I got divorced, I said to myself, I will never, ever get married again. It was in cement. I went through a really rough twenty-five years, but it happened again. I fell in love. I told her, Baby, I don't want a prenuptial agreement. This is it. Everyone told me I was nuts. Well, my new wife and I are married six years and we get along great. You can make anything work if you're both givers.” IfsWantYearsWellsSaidFiveWifeHappenedBabySixMarriedTwentiesFive YearsAgreementRoughNutsDivorcedGiverTwenty FiveCement Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“It upset me that, five days after the hurricane hit down in New Orleans, the President's plan was for a day of prayer. I would have thought a truck of food. A day of prayer. Now, maybe I'm mistaken here and, again, I'm not a scientific expert, but isn't a hurricane officially an act of God? Isn't a day of prayer kind of redundant? Hasn't God already made up his mind on that sort of thing? So we do a day of prayer. The President has his stupid day of prayer. Three days later, Hurricane Rita hits. Somebody must have said something... something like, is that all you got?” MindKindMadeSaidThreePresidentPrayerFivePlansStupidUpsetExpertsMistakenTruckNew OrleansHurricanesRedundant Author:Jon Stewart
“I was talking to a businessman, and I said, Don't you think most men are little boys? And he said, I'm no little boy! I make seventy-five thousand dollars a year. And I said, Well, the way I look at it - you just have bigger toys.” ThinkingMenWayYearsWellsLooksLittlesSaidTalkingBoysFiveThousandBiggerDollarsToysBusinessmanSeventiesLittle Boys Author:Jonathan Winters
“In 1916, when Johnny Heartfield and I invented photomontage in my studio at the south end of the town at five o'clock one May morning, we had no idea of the immense possibilities, or of the thorny but successful career, that awaited the new invention. On a piece of cardboard we pasted a mishmash of advertisements for hernia belts, student song books and dog food, labels from schnaps and wine bottles, and photographs from picture papers, cut up at will in such a way as to say, in pictures, what would have been banned by the censors if we had said it in words.” IfsWayMayHas BeensSaidBookIdeasEndsSongCareersMorningSuccessfulFivePiecesCuttingDogPossibilityStudentsPaperTownsWineSouthPhotographStudiosInventionLabelsNo IdeaClockBottlesImmensePapersBeltsAdvertisementsBannedSuccessful CareerNew InventionsDog FoodHerniasPaper Cuts Author:George Grosz
“That being said, in my top five favorite movies, two of them are Alien and Aliens. I love to laugh, and I love to make people laugh. I love comedy, but I also love the darker things in life. I guess I'm an extremist. I'm an adrenaline junkie. Just cruising along at a normal capacity really doesn't do anything for me.” PeopleSaidTwoLaughingFiveComedyNormalCapacityAliensThings In LifeExtremistMaking People LaughAdrenalineJunkie Author:Angie Harmon
“The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.” YearsSaidLastsPastDeathFiveWeekStonesTwentiesFive YearsCheatingRollingFifthTwenty FiveRolling StonesKeithReunitedFifth Anniversary Author:Norm MacDonald
“My dad got divorced six times. Well, he actually only got divorced five times. He wouldn't divorce the sixth one 'cause he said he didn't want people to think he couldn't commit. 'I don't want people not taking me serious.' Dad, your last marriage was performed in Reno by an ordained lesbian Elvis impersonator. Who you hit on.” PeopleThinkingWantWellsSaidLastsCausesFiveSeriousDadSixMy DadDivorceCommitDivorcedImpersonators Author:Christopher Titus
“During the debate over NAFTA President Clinton said, 'I believe that NAFTA will create a million jobs in the first five years of its impact.' WRONG. According to the Economic Policy Institute, NAFTA has led to the loss of more than 680,000 U.S. jobs. I voted against NAFTA and other bad trade agreements and am fighting to stop the TPP.” YearsFirstsBelieveSaidJobsFightingI BelievePresidentLossMillionsFiveEconomicPolicyTradeImpactClintonDebateFive YearsAgreementInstituteEconomic PolicyPresident ClintonTrade AgreementsNafta Author:Bernie Sanders
“I got in my car and followed [Marlon Brando] down to Chinatown, and got about twelve shots. Brando called me over and said, What else do you want that you don't have already? And I said, I'd like a picture without the sunglasses. He said no and punched me right in the jaw, It was so fast I didn't see it coming. Blood was gushing out of my mouth. I drove to Bellevue. The jawbone and five teeth were broken... To this day he has scars on his knuckles from my teeth.” WantSaidFiveBloodCarBrokenMouthsShotsTeethThis DayScarTwelveSunglassesKnucklesBrandoChinatown Author:Ron Galella
“They teach real young kids and when I was about five my Mom took me to enroll in this thing and they said I could do it. It was definitely my choice, but I would have never thought of it. There's pictures of me playing piano when I'm real, real little, that kind of stuff.” KindLittlesSaidRealKidsYoungChoicesStuffTeachFiveMomMy MomPianoThey SaidPlaying Piano Author:Andrew W.K.
“So I always liked to sing, and apparently when I was about four or five I also started to be attracted to pianos and musical instruments. Whenever we went to a friend's house, I vaguely recall climbing up on the piano, plunking on it, and trying to figure it out. So my parents figured I was interested and asked me if I wanted to take piano lessons. I said sure.” IfsTryingSaidWantedHouseParentFiveFourFiguresLessonsInstrumentsMusicalPianoClimbingRecallsMusical InstrumentsPiano LessonClimbing Up Author:Vienna Teng