“I was out with a friend and he came over with a pair of girls. I said to him "They're like buses." He said "What? Because you wait for ages and then two come along at once." I said "No, they are like buses!"” SaidTwoHumorAgeFunnyGirlWaitingPairsBus Author:Jimmy Carr
“I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.” TwoHumorFunnyGirlKnownBreakCasesUglyBagsOver YouBagger Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"” YearsTwoHomeHumorFunnyGirlBehindsBoysSawsFeetSonWalkingYeahSizeMy SonGenesTwelveShut UpGiftedWalking Home Author:Bill Engvall
“I'd never heard of colon cancer. Baseball wasn't even important to me. I have a wife and two girls. That's what was important. The doctors told me and all I could say was, 'When are we going to get this thing out?'” TwoImportantGirlWifeHeardDoctorsBaseballCancerColon Cancer Author:Eric Davis
“Good-humoured, unaffected girls, will not do for a man who has been used to sensible women. They are two distinct orders of being.” MenHas BeensTwoUsedOrderGirlLiteratureSensibleMansfield Park Book:Jane Austen: 8 Books in 1 Source: Jane Austen: 8 Books in 1