“A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!"” HumorFunnyDoorsTreeDogGreenPlantBonesBuriedYardsPawsPlant A Tree Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing - unless it's a turn to their friends to go, 'Hey, why is that weird guy looking at us?'” LooksHumorFunnyGuyTurnsBonesHeyCuteShirtsLook At MeT ShirtJust Saying Author:Marc Maron
“There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.” LooksHumorFunnyCoursesBonesRemoveRelaxed Author:Chic Murray
“You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.” HumorTodayFunnyHotStructureBonesFeaturesHandsomeLooking GoodRefinedFacialHotterToo DeepFacial Features Author:Kristen Schaal