“I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.” WholeHumorFunnyTogetherComedyJokesBunchLet It GoMicrophonesCords Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Some comics get drunk before a show. I don't. When I get drunk, I don't want to stand in front of a bunch of people that I don't know. That does not sound comfortable. Why have all these people gathered? And why am I elevated and not facing the same way as everyone else? And what is this electric stick in my hand? I want a chair too!” PeopleKnowsWayWantDoeShowsHumorHandsFunnySoundFrontsComfortableSticksBunchDrunkChairsElectric Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men... I also believe that dogs are smarter than women. No? That one, you don't believe it? You believe that I didn't do a series of tests? You are right to not believe it, because I'm going to go ahead and admit that I do not believe what I just said, it was what's described as a 'joke.' Um, I'll be telling a bunch of them here tonight.” MenBelieveSaidWholeHumorFunnyDogJokesTestsSeriesDon't BelieveBunchTonightSmarter Author:David Cross
“America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.” HumorFunnyAmericaWaitingWorryIraqBunchUniformsBully Author:Katt Williams