“I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.” NeedsHumorWantedFunnyCarAvailableBusBusinessman Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I was on a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and a can of Easy Cheese. It was dark, and it was a surprise how much cheese I had applied on each cracker. That's why they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of Easy Cheese. It's not like the product has any integrity to begin with. If you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won't get mad because it glows in the dark too.” IfsShouldHumorFunnyNightEasyDarkRoomsMiddleProductsIntegrityShould HaveMadSurpriseBoxesVersionsBusCheeseTemperatureMiddle Of The NightCrackersGlow In The Dark Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"” HumorFunnyMorningMetsFolksLegsHonestlyBusOffenceBlokesBus Stops Author:Billy Connolly
“I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine; a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.” DifferentStoriesHumorFunnyReadingMy OwnGaySittingMagazinesStationsBusMagicianOwn BusinessMinding My Own Business Author:Dave Attell
“I was out with a friend and he came over with a pair of girls. I said to him "They're like buses." He said "What? Because you wait for ages and then two come along at once." I said "No, they are like buses!"” SaidTwoHumorAgeFunnyGirlWaitingPairsBus Author:Jimmy Carr
“The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off?” KnowsHumorFunnyGivenBusHomelessCouncilBlackpool Author:Frank Carson
“A lot of people think that Jesus is coming back. That's fine, it's your right. But you know, I live in New York, and I think he's running a little late. I'm asking myself, 'Alright, what happens if Jesus comes back tomorrow? What - does he make rounds to churches?' 'OK, everyone who's been good, buses leave in 10 minutes. I'll meet you in front of the post office. I gotta go. Oh, don't tell the Jews I'm back.'” PeopleIfsThinkingKnowsLittlesDoeHumorHappensRunningFunnyJesusChurchMinutesFrontsNew YorkFineTomorrowOfficeLateAskingRoundsJewPostsBusComing BackAlrightPost OfficeI'm Back Author:Marc Maron
“My great grandmother threw herself in front of a bus. The police tried to say she was committed suicide but the family knew she was just trying to stop civil rights.” TryingHumorFunnyRightsFrontsPoliceSuicideCommittedCivil RightsGrandmotherBusGreat Grandmother Author:Anthony Jeselnik
“On a crowded bus in Israel, a mother was speaking to her son in Yiddish. An Israeli woman reprimanded her. "You should be speaking Hebrew. Why are you talking to him in Yiddish?" The mother answered, "I don't want he should forget he's a Jew."” WantShouldHumorFunnyMotherForgetTalkingSonJewIsraelBusIsraeliCrowdedHebrewYiddishTalking To Him Author:Kirk Douglas