“Many come to bring their clothes to church rather than themselves.” HumorFunnyChurchFashionClothesInsult Author:Thomas Fuller
“Hearing Mass is the ceremony I most favor during my travels. Church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.” HumorFunnySpeakChurchAnswersMassHearingFavorsCeremony Author:Charles de Gaulle
“I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state.” ImportantStatesHumorPoliticalChurchHeardAppreciateBridgesDiscussionTexasInitiativeChurch And StatePolitical HumorFaith Based Author:George W. Bush
“And I strongly support the faith-based initiative that we're proposing, because I don't believe it violates the line between the separation of church and state, and I believe it's going to make America a better place.” BelieveStatesHumorAmericaPoliticalI BelieveChurchLinesSupportDon't BelieveSeparationInitiativeBetter PlaceChurch And StateSeparation Of Church And StatePolitical HumorFaith Based Author:George W. Bush
“And some needs and hurts are so deep they will only respond to a mentor's touch or a pastor's prayer. Church and charity, synagogue and mosque, lend our communities their humanity, and they will have an honored place in our plans and laws.” NeedsHumorLawPoliticalHumanityCommunityHurtChurchPrayerPlansCharityMentorPastorHonoredOur CommunityPolitical HumorMosquesSynagogue Author:George W. Bush
“There is no separation of church and state. Modern US Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and raped the churches by misinterpreting what the Founders had in mind in the First Amendment to the Constitution.” MindFirstsStatesHumorChristianChurchReligiousModernConstitutionCourtPositive AtheismSeparationSupremeAmendmentsFoundersSupreme CourtFirst AmendmentChurch And StateSeparation Of Church And StateChristian Faith Author:Jerry Falwell
“Look at the Metropolitan Community Church today, the gay church, almost accepted into the World Council of Churches. Almost, the vote was against them. But they will try again and again until they get in, and the tragedy is that they would get one vote. Because they are spoken of here in Jude as being brute beasts, that is going to the baser lust of the flesh to live immorally, and so Jude describes this as apostasy. But thank God this vile and satanic system will one day be utterly annihilated and there'll be a celebration in heaven.” WorldTryingLooksHumorTodayHeavenCommunityChurchReligiousGayOne DayVoteTragedyFleshAcceptedLustBeastThank GodCelebrationAgain And AgainCouncilBrutesTry AgainSatanicMetropolitanChurch TodayApostasy Author:Jerry Falwell
“By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.” NeedsHumorFunnyChurchCuz Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“A lot of people think that Jesus is coming back. That's fine, it's your right. But you know, I live in New York, and I think he's running a little late. I'm asking myself, 'Alright, what happens if Jesus comes back tomorrow? What - does he make rounds to churches?' 'OK, everyone who's been good, buses leave in 10 minutes. I'll meet you in front of the post office. I gotta go. Oh, don't tell the Jews I'm back.'” PeopleIfsThinkingKnowsLittlesDoeHumorHappensRunningFunnyJesusChurchMinutesFrontsNew YorkFineTomorrowOfficeLateAskingRoundsJewPostsBusComing BackAlrightPost OfficeI'm Back Author:Marc Maron
“At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.” HumorFunnyLastsThreeSexChurchCatholicWeekendApartmentCleaningFridayRequestCatholic ChurchRioRio De Janeiro Author:Tina Fey
“Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.” IfsKnowsHumorFunnyChurchScoreSundayPriestsRaiders Author:George Lopez