“My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark” ShouldBelieveHumorFunnyDarkWifeWorstDon't BelieveMy WifeCooksBelieve In MeGlow In The DarkMeatloaf Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write us a script? That's not fair. That's like if I worked hard to become a cook, and I'm a really good cook, they'd say, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"” IfsWantWritingHardHumorFunnyFairsHollywoodScriptsCooksComedianFarmsNot FairStand Up ComedianGood Cook Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick” IfsLifeRealHomeHumorRunningWantedFunnyHouseEnergyCooksRanElectricityStaticBalloonsSweatersBlenders Author:Steven Wright