“People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"” PeopleLongUseHumorFunnyMotherGuyFoundWishHairDrugDaughterLongingExcitedExtremesStrangerSmellCakeAssociatesThat GuyLong HairFlourDrug Use Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.” HumorTodayFunnyWaitingTeamDaughterBaseballFuneralAttending Author:Jerry Coleman
“When my daughter was born she had jaundice, she was small, round and yellow. we called her Melony.” HumorFunnyBornDaughterRoundsMy DaughterYellowJaundice Author:Milton Jones
“My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles” HumorFunnyGrowsDaughterStartingHandleMy Daughter Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.” HumorSchoolFunnyHoursHalfBoysWatchesWifeMinutesStupidDaughterMy WifeMy DaughterPublic SchoolBargains Author:Rodney Dangerfield