“Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.” LoveHeartLittlesDreamHumorTurnsLove IsGunMachinesDancingDanceMerrySweet LoveMiniaturesMachine GunsPerky Author:Matt Groening
“There is no rustic so rude but that, if he dreams or fancies anything, it must be the whisper of the Holy Ghost, and he himself a prophet.” IfsDreamHumorReligiousHolyGhostFancyProphetRudeHoly GhostRustic Author:Martin Luther
“Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.” LoveLifeInspirationalI CanDreamHumorHappinessJoyFriendshipLove IsCommonLaughingLaughterSexualityInner PeaceAdmireLaughedFavouriteLove MakingLike LoveMake Me LaughCommon DenominatorHave A LaughSmile And LaughLaughs And SmilesSmile And LaughterLowest Common DenominatorHumor And LaughterHumor LaughterLove And LaughterHumour And LaughterLove LaughterAdmire And LoveHe Makes Me LaughLaugh And LoveYou Make Me LaughMake Love To Me Author:W. H. Auden
“I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.” LifeDreamHumorFunnyAsksComedySickFollowingHookFollowing My DreamsHook UpBlurry Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams.” KindCountryMomentsDreamHumorFunnyLastsPoorQualityBrokenColdLateEnglandBottomWeatherHolidayOnlineWildernessRetirementPieGreyPollsQuality Of LifePublic ServiceEuropean CountriesBroken DreamsHealth ServicesPoor Health Author:Bill Bailey
“Every morning I hear the alarm, it's like "BEEP BEEP BEEP" For second I'm like, "I could get used to that, just dream I'm in a techno club, or something."” DreamHumorFunnyUsedMorningClubsEvery MorningAlarmsTechno Author:Jim Gaffigan
“It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"” TryingI CanDreamHumorFunnyInterestingStrangeYour DreamsMail Author:Jim Gaffigan
“It's not all about love. That's half of it... The other half is about that moment you have with yourself when you're looking in the mirror, and you just go, 'Oh man. I'm going to compromise my dreams, get fat, sick, old and die someday. I kind of want to have someone around for that.'” MenWantKindMomentsDreamHumorFunnyDiesHalfSickMirrorsFatsCompromiseSomedayThat MomentOther HalfLooking In The Mirror Author:Marc Maron
“Guess what, Martin Luther King? I had a dream, too.” DreamHumorFunnyKingsLutherI Had A Dream Author:Sarah Silverman
“So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "Break my arms."” SaidHelpingProblemDreamHumorFunnyBeautifulNightGirlBreakArmsDoctorsYesterdayPushingRushingBeautiful Girl Author:Tommy Cooper
“Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.” ShowsDreamHumorRealityFunnySexReleaseRetiringAmerican DreamTapePerfumeReality Shows Author:Natasha Leggero
“Disney Resort and World and Compound, a place where your dreams really do come true, if you dream about having people wearing enormous cartoon-animal heads come around to your restaurant table and act whimsical and refuse to go away until you laugh with delight.” PeopleIfsWorldDreamHumorFunnyAnimalLaughingTablesDelightRefuseEnormousYour DreamsRestaurantsGoing AwayCartoonResortsCompoundsWhimsical Book:Dave Barry Talks Back Source: Dave Barry Talks Back