“I urge all Texans to answer the call to serve those in need. By volunteering their time, energy or resources to helping others, adults and youngsters follow Christ's message of love and service in thought and deed. Therefore I, George W. Bush, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim June 10, 2000, Jesus Day in Texas and urge the appropriate recognition whereof. In official recognition whereof, I hereby affix my signature this 17th day of March, 2000.” NeedsHelpingHumorPoliticalJesusEnergyChristAnswersMessagesAdultsResourcesDeedsHelping OthersRecognitionOfficialsAppropriateUrgesTexasGovernorsVolunteerJuneAprilSignaturesYoungstersPolitical HumorTexanThose In Need Author:George W. Bush
“And we need a full affront on an energy crisis that is real in California and looms for other parts of our country if we don't move quickly.” IfsNeedsRealCountryHumorMovingPoliticalEnergyCrisisOur CountryCaliforniaPolitical HumorAffrontEnergy Crisis Author:George W. Bush
“You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'” WellsEndsHumorFunnyFightingHouseEnergyStupidNegativeDatingDisappearRingsSpoonsDrawersNegative EnergyNapkinsFunny Dating Author:Adam Ferrara
“You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."” LooksReasonHumorFunnyHouseEnergyRealizingWatchesToo MuchLike YouRight NowPicksLettersConnectionsNeighborLazyNo ReasonFinding YourselfHostMailBeing LazyLove Connection Author:Jim Gaffigan
“Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick” IfsLifeRealHomeHumorRunningWantedFunnyHouseEnergyCooksRanElectricityStaticBalloonsSweatersBlenders Author:Steven Wright
“In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'” SaidHomeHumorLightFunnyHouseEnergyJusticeCuttingYesterdayChecksGermanyAnd Off Author:Steven Wright