Best humor & heart Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“Humor hardens the heart, at least to the point of sanity.”

Source: Under dispute

“Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.”

Love Heart Littles Dream Humor Turns Love Is Gun Machines Dancing Dance Merry Sweet Love Miniatures Machine Guns Perky

“We need to have mentoring programs energized by government, paid for by government, but who exist not because of government. Teen Challenge is a way to get people off drugs and alcohol. Teen Challenge is a faith-based program that changes people's hearts.”

People Way Needs Heart Humor Government Political Challenges Drug Program Paid Scary Alcohol Mentoring Drugs And Alcohol Political Humor Faith Based

Author:George W. Bush

“We should - we will - welcome people of faith into the political process... It is essential that believers enter the arena. Your involvement in politics helps determine how well our democracy works. We have finally learned that government programs cannot solve our problems. Government can hand out money, but government cannot put hope in our hearts or a sense of purpose in our lives.”

“Anyway, after we go out and work our hearts out, after you go out and help us turn out the vote, after we've convinced the good Americans to vote, and while they're at it, pull that old George W lever, if I'm the one, when I put my hand on the Bible, when I put my hand on the Bible, that day when they swear us in, when I put my hand on the Bible, I will swear to not - to uphold the laws of the land.”

Ifs Heart Helping Humor Hands Law Political Turns Land Vote Convinced Swear Political Humor Levers

Author:George W. Bush

“And uh, so, I'm running for a reason. I'm answering this question here and the answer is, you cannot lead America to a positive tomorrow with revenge on one's mind. Revenge is so incredibly negative. And so to answer your question, I'm going to win because people sense my heart, know my sense of optimism and know where I want to lead the country. And I tease people by saying, "A leader, you can't say, follow me the world is going to be worse." I'm an optimistic person. I'm an inherently content person.”

“It is a curious fact, but a fact it is, that your witty people are the most hard-hearted in the world. The truth is, fancy destroys feeling. The quick eye to the ridiculous turns every thing to the absurd side; and the neat sentence, the lively allusion, and the odd simile, invest what they touch with something of their own buoyant nature. Humor is of the heart, and has its tears; but wit is of the head, and has only smiles - and the majority of those are bitter.”

Source: The Complete Works of L. E. Landon: Containing Romance and Reality, Francesca Carrara, Traits and Trials of Early Life, Ethel Church, the Book of Beauty, Improvisatrice, the Troubadour, Venetian Bracelet, Golden Violet, Vow of the Peacock, Easter Gift, &c., &c

“In your heart you know he's right.”

Knows Heart Humor Funny

Book:Pure Goldwater

Source: Pure Goldwater

“People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.”

People Thinking Way Heart Humor Funny Dies Sex Heard Drug Phrases Good Way Heart Attack

Author:Frankie Boyle

“The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart.”

Men Heart Humor Funny Grows Watches Creative Ambition Method Plant Patient China Torture Bamboo Anus

Author:Kristen Schaal

“I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.”

Heart Humor Eye Funny My Friends Teeth Lazy Disgusted Lazy Eyes