“My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.” HumorFunnyLastsPurposeNightSexWifeMy WifeEggsLast Night Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.” MadeHumorFunnyLastsNightMorningIceLast NightGood MorningCubesSculpting Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.” PeopleKnowsShowsHumorFunnyLastsNightComedyPleaseLast NightNight Time Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I had no idea which joke I was telling. So I told jokes twice. I even told that one twice.” IdeasHumorFunnyLastsNightJokesNo IdeaThank GodSpeakersLast Night Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.” MadeHumorFunnyLastsNightIceLast NightSculptorsCubes Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.” HomeHumorRunningFunnyLastsNightCareersBaseballLeavingShyLast NightHome RunLeaving Him Author:Jerry Coleman
“I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?"” ThinkingTryingHumorFunnyLastsNightSexHoursWifeHarderMy WifeLast NightGave Up Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'” ShouldLooksSaidTwoHumorFunnyLastsNightWeekColdChineseMealsRestaurantsChickensLast NightTwo WeeksWaiter Author:Tommy Cooper