“I'm lucky that my real-life Mom has both a great sense of humor about herself and an amazing ability to slip into complete denial if the subject matter gets a little too close to home.” IfsLittlesRealMatterHomeHumorAbilitySubjectsMomLuckyReal LifeDenialSense Of HumorSlipsSubject Matter Author:Cathy Guisewite
“I got a business card because I wanna win some lunches. That's what my business card says: Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner. Gimme a call, maybe we'll have lunch. If I'm lucky!” IfsHumorFunnyWinningLuckyCardsWinnerLunchBusiness Card Author:Mitch Hedberg
“My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Darn! Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."” NeedsRealHumorFunnyNumbersFourLuckySevenBillionsGamblingDiceHandy Author:Mitch Hedberg
“You know I used to work at Ikea, selling over 7,000 products. Give me a number between 1-7,000 I'll tell you about it. Sorry out of stock, lucky you chose that one.” KnowsGivingHumorFunnyUsedNumbersProductsLuckyGive MeSorrySellingLucky YouIkea Author:Milton Jones
“My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."” WellsMayHumorFunnyFallRocksInformationLuckyAccidentsFavouriteLotteryRoad SignSign Sayings Author:Jimmy Carr
“A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."” MenFirstsHumorFunnyGuyTurnsNextAsksHappenedHe ManLuckyWindowGlassesCoveredToesLucky YouBandages Author:Frank Carson