“Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.” IfsKnowsTwoHumorFunnyTurnsNextImaginePlayerMagicBeatsSticksSoupBassDrummerWandsBass PlayersMagic Wands Author:Mitch Hedberg
“You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, and he arrives with a sandwich! And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land"” ThinkingHumorFunnyGuyMagicLandButtonsMonkeysSandwichesTrays Author:Dylan Moran
“Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.” HumorFunnyNightMagicBillsBritishParks Author:Frankie Boyle
“Jesus is magic, because he turned water into wine. I think he made the statue of liberty disappear in the 80s or something.” ThinkingMadeHumorFunnyJesusWaterLibertyMagicWineDisappear80sStatuesStatue Of Liberty Author:Sarah Silverman
“You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.” KnowsI CanHumorFunnyHalfMagicMembersVery GoodCirclesTricks Author:Tim Vine
“I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire.” HumorFunnyMagicHugWireJohnsonBarbed Wire Author:Jim Norton
“Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.” HumorFunnyMagicClothesJohnsonDryers Author:Jim Norton
“Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.” KnowsTwoHumorFunnyEnjoyOpinionFiveMagicSeriousDrinkDancingTricksBiographiesMikeWildlifeMagic Tricks Author:Mike Birbiglia