“The Devil made me do it the first time - the second time I done it on my own” FirstsMadeDoneHumorFunnyMy OwnDevilFirst Time Author:Billy Joe Shaver
“I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.” IfsSaidHumorRunningFunnyMovingGuyMy OwnFireComedyLegsBlockGamblingThis GuyExitOwn BusinessCasinosMind Your Own BusinessMinding My Own Business Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.” HumorFunnyMy OwnToo MuchCuttingHairSickComing OutBarbers Author:Robert Frost
“'I will not stand for being called a woman in my own house' she said.” SaidHumorFunnyHouseMy Own Author:Evelyn Waugh
“I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine; a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story.” DifferentStoriesHumorFunnyReadingMy OwnGaySittingMagazinesStationsBusMagicianOwn BusinessMinding My Own Business Author:Dave Attell
“Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.” KnowsYearsSaidEndsHumorFunnyMy OwnDealsKnow HowFourCrazyFrontsYears AgoMiseryWorkersBreadFour YearsPizzaMy Own LifeAnklesHutsCo Worker Author:Zach Galifianakis