“I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics.” KnowsWorldMeanLongStatesHumorPoliticalFoundTermUnitedUnited StatesInfluenceEconomicPositionPeriodsNewsConcernedEconomicsInvestmentFolksOptimisticLong TermInvestorsSaltShort TermPolitical HumorBest Investment Author:George W. Bush
“Look at the limes in this drink, how they float. That's good news. Next time I'm on a boat, and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. I'm saved by the buoyancy of citrus.” LooksHumorFunnyNextDrinkNewsSavedBoatNext TimeGood NewsFloatsLimesBuoyancyCitrus Author:Mitch Hedberg
“If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.” IfsHelpingHumorFunnyNewsUglyReleaseBad News Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I saw a door that said exit only. So I entered through it and went up to the guy working there and said "I have good news. You have severely underestimated that door over there. By like a hundred percent."” SaidHumorFunnyGuySawsDoorsNewsPercentHundredGood NewsExitUnderestimated Author:Demetri Martin
“A man says to the doctor: "What's the good news?" "You've got 24 hours to live." He says: "What's the bad news?" The doctor says: "We should have told you yesterday."” MenShouldHumorFunnyHoursNewsShould HaveDoctorsYesterdayGood NewsBad News Author:Frank Carson
“You say you're sick and tired of hearing about me? I've got news for you: I'M sick and tired of hearing about me.” HumorFunnyNewsSickTiredHearing Author:Ellen DeGeneres