Home / Topics / Humor Quotes

Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“I read the newspaper.”

Humor Political Newspapers Political Humor

Author:George W. Bush

“My doctors told me this morning my blood pressure is down so low that I can start reading the newspapers.”

I Can Humor Reading Morning Blood Lows Doctors Pressure Newspapers Blood Pressure

Book:Ronald Reagan

Source: Ronald Reagan

“Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.”

Men Firsts Humor Funny Morning Newspapers Upset Psych

Author:Rita Rudner

“He comes back with the script, and it's racist like a 1940's Newspaper.”

Humor Funny Scripts Newspapers Racist

Author:Katt Williams

“I thought, Hey, maybe these people shouldn't be making up holidays to drink more. Maybe if they drank less they might be able to title their newspaper articles more specifically. For example, I would title this last article "Drunk Driver Hits Drunk Walker Drunkety-Drunk I'm So Drunk."”

People Ifs Humor Might Able Funny Lasts Example Drink Newspapers Drunk Hey Titles Holiday Drivers Articles Drank Making Up Walkers

Book:Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories

Source: Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories