“One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes.” HumorFunnySportsDoctorsAccidentsOne TimeHerpes Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.” HumorFunnyRoundsGirlfriendRestaurantsHotelOne TimeMerryMy GirlfriendMerry Go RoundRotatingBurritos Author:Mitch Hedberg
“One time I stayed at a haunted motel. When I checked into my room, there was a sheet on the floor, and I thought it was a ghost that had passed out, so I kicked it.” HumorFunnyRoomsGhostOne TimeSheetsMotels Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No--I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay. You probably secretly are gay. And I'm like listen voice in my head, I'm not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn't like it, other scarier voice in my head! 'Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.” ThinkingKnowsHumorFunnyThreeCausesVoiceTalkingGaySorryAssDo You KnowOne TimeI'm SorryThree TimesSandwichesDaveBeing GayHomophobicCucumbersVoices In My Head Author:Dave Attell
“The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.” HumorFunnyJobsTurnsNationsUnitedWorstFieldsThousandMassGravesOne TimeUnited NationsCarrotsSnowman Author:Milton Jones
“There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?” IfsThinkingFirstsSaidTwoHumorHappensFunnyGuyWorryHappeningsFaultsGirlfriendTwo ThingsOne TimeOther GuysSexuallyMy Girlfriend Author:Jimmy Carr
“One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!” HumorFunnyFeltWifeMy WifeHandleBagsHotelOne Time Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.” HumorFunnyHungryChairsBagsOne TimeBeansBean Bags Author:George Lopez
“One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.” WayMadeUseHumorFunnyFacesHouseCamerasNeighborMy WayFiftyOne TimeFlashLightningSandwiches Author:Steven Wright