“humor bears the closest relation to emotion, either bubbling up as from a deep and happy wellspring, or in an opposite fashion rising like a re-birth of feeling from dead levels after turmoil.” FeelingsHumorLevelsEmotionFashionBearsBirthOppositesRelationRisingClosestTurmoilWellspring Author:Constance Rourke
“If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' what is the opposite of 'progress'?” IfsHumorGovernmentFunnyProgressOppositesWitty Author:Paul Harvey
“If you're watching a parade, don't follow it. It never changes. If the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction. You will fast-forward the parade.” IfsHumorRunningFunnyOppositesBoringNever ChangeParades Author:Mitch Hedberg
“If you don't know a light bulb is a three-way light bulb, it messes with your head. You reach to turn it off, and it just gets brighter! That's the exact opposite of what I wanted you to do! So you turn the switch again, and it gets brighter once more! I will break you, light bulb!” IfsKnowsWayHumorLightWantedFunnyTurnsThreeBreakOppositesMessBrighterBulbsLight BulbThree Ways Author:Mitch Hedberg
“One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'” DoeHumorFunnyOppositesMy FavoritePatternsWoodsHeyClothingsCamouflage Author:Demetri Martin
“1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.” MenFirstsHumorFunnyMovingWaitingSidesMen And WomenOppositesValentineValentine's Day Author:Kristen Schaal
“What's the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled!” HumorFunnyOpposites Author:Russell Howard