“I went to a pizzeria. The guy gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart with what would you do if you found a million dollars, he gave me the "Donate it to charity" slice. "I'd like to exchange this for the 'Keep it!'"” IfsHumorFunnyGuyFoundMillionsDollarsCharitySmallestPiePizzaMillion DollarsDonate Author:Mitch Hedberg
“In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.” IfsHumorFunnyBreadCheesePizzaTomatoesGarlic Author:Jimmy Carr
“The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'” HumorFunnyDoorsSecurityMissingMovedCleanArguingApartmentPizzaCeilingsSinglesDepositsLandlordBack Doors Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.” KnowsYearsSaidEndsHumorFunnyMy OwnDealsKnow HowFourCrazyFrontsYears AgoMiseryWorkersBreadFour YearsPizzaMy Own LifeAnklesHutsCo Worker Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.” TwoHumorFunnyLeftBehindsFinishedTwo ThingsLeft BehindSessionPizza Author:Adam Carolla
“Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.” HumorFunnyPartyHollywoodResponsePizzaCocaineGlutenGluten Free Author:Natasha Leggero