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Humor Quotes

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Humor Quotes

“People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.”

People Long Humor Funny Secret Century Couple Husband Asking Forgiving My Husband Quarters Long Ago Matrimony Newman Quarter Of A Century

Book:I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

Source: I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

“My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood.”

Made Enough Humor Funny Mother Father Blood Figures Proud Indian Quarters Arithmetic Cherokee Cherokee Indian

Book:The Will Rogers scrapbook

Source: The Will Rogers scrapbook

“People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER!”

People Knows Feels Long Humor Funny Rooms Nice Long Time Winner Staring Hotel Quarters Bathroom Toilets Vegas Nice Things Arrivals Hotel Rooms Casinos

Author:Lewis Black

“I backed horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.”

Humor Funny Lasts Past Four Week Ten Horse Quarters

Author:Tommy Cooper