“Humor is a hole that lets the sawdust out of a stuffed shirt.” HumorHolesShirtsSawdust Author:John McKeithen
“Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. "Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?" "Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!"” IfsThinkingWantNeedsLooksUseHumorFunnyWalksActingSafeYeahHeyShirtsShopsDocumentsSpySurveillanceSprayFishy Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.” WellsHomeHumorKidsFunnyShirtsTiesCall MeBack HomeFagotsTie Dye Author:Bo Burnham
“The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.” CountryHumorFunnyAmountSouthIronyShirtsRegionsT Shirt Author:David Cross
“I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays.” PeopleHumorLightFunnyGroupsPositionGayShirtsRainbowGreedySupportive Author:Demetri Martin
“Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.” KnowsLooksHumorFunnyBabyCleanSmellShirtsYardsSpitWardrobeCleanersDid You KnowSpit Up Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing - unless it's a turn to their friends to go, 'Hey, why is that weird guy looking at us?'” LooksHumorFunnyGuyTurnsBonesHeyCuteShirtsLook At MeT ShirtJust Saying Author:Marc Maron
“For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.” YearsHumorEyeFunnySonGunShirtsMy SonT ShirtBulls Author:Rodney Dangerfield