“If men have a smell it's usually an accident.” IfsMenHumorFunnyComedySmellAccidents Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good. What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'!” MadeHumorFunnyWishStuffSmellCologne Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I'm always on the road, and I drive rental cars. Sometimes I don't know what's going on with the car, and I'll drive for ten miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake. What kind of emergency is this? I need to not stop now. It's not really an emergency brake, it's an emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever.” KnowsNeedsKindSometimesHumorFunnyCarTenSmellMilesEmergenciesBrakeLeversCar Rental Author:Mitch Hedberg
“People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"” PeopleLongUseHumorFunnyMotherGuyFoundWishHairDrugDaughterLongingExcitedExtremesStrangerSmellCakeAssociatesThat GuyLong HairFlourDrug Use Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie so sweet? There's not enough sugar in the universe.” BelieveMeanMadeEnoughHumorFunnyUniverseSweetDon't BelieveSmellSugarPiePumpkinPumpkin Pie Book:Nothing's Sacred Source: Nothing's Sacred
“Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.” KnowsLooksHumorFunnyBabyCleanSmellShirtsYardsSpitWardrobeCleanersDid You KnowSpit Up Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."” PersonsSometimesHumorRunningFunnyNightHoursTroubleLateBusySmellSmokeLazyWeekendShowersMondayFridayFriday NightBeing Lazy48 HoursRunning Late Author:Jim Gaffigan