“I got a business card because I wanna win some lunches. That's what my business card says: Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner. Gimme a call, maybe we'll have lunch. If I'm lucky!” IfsHumorFunnyWinningLuckyCardsWinnerLunchBusiness Card Author:Mitch Hedberg
“My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Darn! Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."” NeedsRealHumorFunnyNumbersFourLuckySevenBillionsGamblingDiceHandy Author:Mitch Hedberg
“You know I used to work at Ikea, selling over 7,000 products. Give me a number between 1-7,000 I'll tell you about it. Sorry out of stock, lucky you chose that one.” KnowsGivingHumorFunnyUsedNumbersProductsLuckyGive MeSorrySellingLucky YouIkea Author:Milton Jones
“My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."” WellsMayHumorFunnyFallRocksInformationLuckyAccidentsFavouriteLotteryRoad SignSign Sayings Author:Jimmy Carr
“A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."” MenFirstsHumorFunnyGuyTurnsNextAsksHappenedHe ManLuckyWindowGlassesCoveredToesLucky YouBandages Author:Frank Carson
“Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky.” MadeHumorFunnyVisionWiseSeeingFoolLuckyLuckFortuneFools And FoolishnessFools And WiseFools DayFortune And Luck Author:Michel de Montaigne
“I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.” HumorFunnyComedyLuckyBarsSinglesGumStools Author:Emo Philips
“Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.” IfsYearsStillsFunnyAcceptingLuckyAging Author:Joan Rivers
“Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.” FunnyTreeCarLuckyBallsLuckGolfBoundsGolfersBounceBad LuckCurbTurtlesUnluckyBouncing Ball Author:Lee Trevino