“I think it's good to know more than the average guy. If I'm in a bar now and some pretty girl is talking to some handsome 24-year-old man, I'll say, "Okay, who's the emperor after Caligula? What chief mistake did Marcus Aurelius make in choosing a successor?" He'll just look like an idiot. She'll just gravitate toward me, I'm thinking. It works in Detroit.” IfsThinkingKnowsMenYearsLooksGuyGirlMistakeTalkingOkayAverageBarsChiefsIdiotOld ManHandsomeEmperorDetroitPretty GirlSuccessors Author:Emo Philips
“Only the mediocre are always at their best. If your standards are low, it is easy to meet those standards every single day, every single year. But if your standard is to be the best, there will be days when you fall short of that goal. It is okay to not win every game. The only problem would be if you allow a loss or a failure to change your standards. Keep your standards intact, keep the bar set high, and continue to try your very best every day to meet those standards. If you do that, you can always be proud of the work that you do.” IfsTryingYearsProblemWould BeFallGamesWinningEasyGoalLossProudLowsStandardsOkayBarsBeing The BestBe ProudMediocre Author:Mike Krzyzewski
“Given that there are seven billion people living on this earth, there is a consistent quantity of imbecile or idiot, okay. Previously, these people could express themselves only with their friends or at the bar after two or three glasses of something, and they said every silliness, and people laughed. Now they have the possibility to show up on the internet. And so, on the internet, along with the messages of a lot of interesting and important people - even the Pope is writing on Twitter - we have a great quantity of idiots.” PeopleWritingSaidTwoImportantShowsEarthThreeGivenInterestingPossibilityInternetMessagesOkaySevenGlassesBillionsBarsIdiotConsistentLaughedQuantityPopeThey SaidLiving OnImbecilesSilliness Author:Umberto Eco
“You know, or three kinds of ice cream bars and you'd see this and like this... okay they could clearly benefit from some more choices and I remember having these discussions with the Japanese because they you know they often like to go to Hawaii for vacation because it was definitely much cheaper for them and I would ask them, "So when you go to Hawaii, you know do eat all these other things?"” KnowsKindRememberChoicesThreeAsksBenefitsOkayBarsIceDiscussionVacationCreamHawaiiIce CreamCheaperHey You Author:Sheena Iyengar
“It was absolutely killing me that I've spent the first 25 years of my life tryin' to avoid bullets. That was always the main concern. Don't go out late. Don't go to any shady neighborhoods. Don't hang in bars alone. Why? Because you wanna avoid bullets. So once I get to 35 then I was like "Woo, okay. Made it." And now there's a new warning. Now it's like strokes; I gotta watch my health.” YearsFirstsMadeWatchesLateConcernOkayKillingBarsMade ItNeighborhoodWarningBulletsStrokesShady Author:Questlove
“Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with a seltzer bottle, ruining my n ice new camel hair suit, dousing my monocle and my watch fob, soaking my cravat. So, do I let him have what for, and blow my top? I do not. I simply say: Sorry, I believe I said 'very dry'.” BelieveSaidFacesOrderI BelieveDifferencesWalksWatchesHeardHairOkaySorryBlowWitBarsSuitsIceHeyDryBottlesCousinCamelsHaulBartenderMartiniSoakingSaying SorryUnassumingHilarityMonocles Author:Chip Kidd
“Dear Complete and Utter Stranger, The first thing that I have to say is that I hate oatmeal. I really hate it. And you know what? If you like oatmeal at all? I mean even the tiniest bit? I mean, say you were lost in the Himalayas, right, and you hadn't eaten anything except a Mars Bar for about seven years, right, and you're really cold and your fingers are all dropping off, right, and you look behind this rock, and there's this bowl of oatmeal? Say you would even think about eating the oatmeal? Well, JUST DON'T BOTHER WRITING TO ME, OKAY?” IfsThinkingKnowsWritingYearsFirstsWellsLooksMeanHateLostBitsBehindsRocksColdEatingOkayI HateFingersSevenDearStrangerBarsBotherWhat IfBowlsMarsSeven YearsDroppingHimalayasOatmeal Book:Feeling Sorry for Celia: A Novel Source: Feeling Sorry for Celia: A Novel
“My father is the harbinger of death and destruction. My grandmother the Great Destroyer. My mother is the goddess of the hunt. I think I’ll be okay. (Kat) Yeah, you do have the history of absolute terror and cruelty in your veins. (Sin) Remember that if you ever come between me and my chocolate bar. (Kat)” IfsThinkingRememberMotherFatherSinDestructionOkayAbsolutesYeahTerrorBarsCrueltyGrandmotherChocolateGoddessMy GrandmotherVeinsHuntsDestroyersHarbingerChocolate Bars Author:Sherrilyn Kenyon
“It was one of the few places where someone remembered his name. Yeah, okay, so he felt like Sam Malone on Cheers, but there was no Norm or Cliff sitting at the bar here. More like Spike and Switchblade.’ (Wulf)” NamesFeltSittingOkayYeahBarsRememberedCheerNormCliffs Book:Kiss of the Night Source: Kiss of the Night
“Lend's dad, two werewolves, and a vampire. It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves, and a vampire walk into a bar. "What'll you have?" the bartender asks. "We were thinking him," the vampire answers, eyeing the doctor. Okay, jokes weren't my strong point.” ThinkingTwoAsksStrongAnswersWalksDadJokesDoctorsOkayBarsVampireWerewolfBartenderSetupsBad Jokes Author:Kiersten White
“God, you mean I lost my virginity to the apocalypse?" Morgan sighed again. "The whole thing was really embarrassing; my parents sent me to Brooklyn when they found out." She shrugged. "I thought I’d be safe in a gay bar, okay? What were you doing in there anyway?" Lace looked at me sidelong. "You were where?" I took a sip of beer, swallowed it. "I, uh, hadn’t been in the city...very long. I didn’t know.” KnowsMeanLongWholeFoundLostParentCitiesGaySafeOkayBarsBeerApocalypseEmbarrassingBrooklynVirginityLace Book:Peeps Source: Peeps