“In junior high, there were a lot of really ugly guys who were popular because they made people laugh. I was like, "Wow, comedy is the great freer of hideous people." It was an incredibly liberating thing. If you ask a girl, "What do you want in a guy?" 99 percent are like, "I just want him to be funny." I thought, "If that applies to women, I'm set.” PeopleIfsWantMadeGuyGirlAsksLaughingComedyPercentUglyWowLiberatingJuniorsHideousWant HimJunior HighAsk A Girl Author:Mindy Kaling
“What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They're really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love 'em; they're awesome. They're good people.” PeopleKnowsLaughingCouplePercentPopulationEmsSouthernGood PeopleFunny ThingsThings I LoveMake Me Laugh Author:Larry the Cable Guy
“Ninety-nine percent is in the delivery. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.” PeopleIfsEnoughThreeVoiceRealizingLinesLaughingJokesPercentNinePoundsSay AnythingThree TimesNinetyMaking People LaughDeliveryCockyNinety Nine Author:Buddy Hackett
“I'm an idiot, basically. I don't think that I'm a dumb guy, but I also realise that I have access to about 0.1 percent of the information that I need to have a truly informed opinion about half the stuff I talk about. I'm like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him.” ThinkingNeedsKindSchoolGuyStuffHalfOpinionLaughingMinutesInformationTenPercentHigh SchoolAccessBarsDumbIdiotMake SenseLoudRealisingDumb GuyInformed Opinions Author:Bill Burr
“I'm making fun of midwestern homophobia [in the joke], but I'm still saying faggot. And almost every month as I'm doing that joke it gets five percent less of a laugh.” StillsFunLaughingFiveMonthsJokesPercentHomophobia Author:Neal Brennan
“People think "The Office" was improvised, but it's all on the page. We do that because what we found is that in the early days of "The Office," we went in with it sort of 80 percent scripted and we did some things and then we improv'd and we did - you know, and it gets a laugh on the floor because it's the first time they've heard it.” PeopleThinkingKnowsFirstsFoundLaughingHeardOfficePagesPercentFirst TimeDid You Know Author:Ricky Gervais
“I like somebody who's not so crazy but likes to have a good time... and who is thoughtful and kind and easy to laugh with. Somebody you can just be yourself with one hundred and fifty percent.” KindEasyLaughingCrazyPercentHundredLikesBeing YourselfThoughtfulFiftyGood TimesHaving A Good TimeJust Be Yourself Author:Kate Bosworth
“If you enjoyed laughing in the face of death, you might like to have a crack at High Saffron. One hundred merits, and all you have to do is take a look.' 'I understand there's a one hundred percent fatality rate?' 'True. But up until the moment of death there was a one hundred percent survival rate. Really, I shouldn't let anything as meaningless as statistics put you off.” IfsLooksMomentsMightFacesLaughingSurvivalPercentHundredRateEnjoyedMeritStatisticsCracksMeaninglessFatalitySaffron Author:Jasper Fforde
“I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.” ThinkingWorldLifeInspirationalMindMeanFactsBigsFunnyUnderstandingInterestingLaughingForeverAliveAdvicePositive ThinkingGoes OnPercentWittyEndlessUselessBoredLive LifeBoredomBoresEnjoy LifeFunny InspirationalA Perfect WorldLife Is BeautifulI Love LifeBores YouBeing BoredI Am AliveAmazing LifeLife Is GreatUseless ThingsSo Bored Author:Louis C. K.